Thursday, March 04, 2010

Bracing Myself for the Thick of It

After getting up every 75 minutes all night long to go to the bathroom, I can at least walk, though not comfortably. I'm heading for a long day. Everyone knows that Phoenix is on the way from Seattle to Minneapolis, right? I have two flights with an hour in between, but I've made it to the airport, through security and I"m at my gate, so part of the battle is over. At least part one.

I know that the next three months are going to be quite challenging ones for me, as I have mentioned. I realize that the key to all of it is not figuring out a way to get the kids and adults in my home to do what I want, but in getting myself to listen carefully, respond appropriately, and not let what they say get to me.

I have a couple of kids who are moving home this month who have always found a way to criticize my parenting and blame me for any misfortune that has come their way as a result of their own choices. They often have very interesting ways of viewing the world and the things that come out of their mouths completely push my buttons and make me scream inwardly.

Based on history, I know what to expect from them and I don't like what is bound to occur. However, I have learned that it is my job to manage my own response and that sometimes if I can respond calmly and try to understand the motivation for their anger and accusations, I am better off than if I try to correct them or argue with them.

Having multiple health issues, which I have no experience in dealing with, makes me leery and wondering if I will have the emotional energy I might need. However, the knowledge that I will have a granddaughter to hold is comforting me some.

I will likely have three week-long speaking engagements in April and May as well and a huge work load.

So, does it feel to you like I'm bracing myself or just whining?

P.S. At this moment there is a girl seated behind me who has no idea how close she is to loosing her life. We are in back to back chairs at the airport gate and her long curly hair keeps brushing against my neck. I am simply amazed at how many times she has been able to shake that pony tail in just a few minutes. If I snap, she'll be the first to go.


1 comment:

nancy said...

I am so glad you called Dr and are peeing. Takes a load off my mind (yes, I have sick humor). I am also glad - truly - that you are extending grace. Tho I'd like to pretend otherwise it is what I would (do) do w/my now 32 y/old
ADHD son. :-)