In 20 minutes I have to leave to pick up Salinda for therapy and will find out then whether or not she is going to come along. Either way it will be stressful. If she comes, she will make us miserable. If she does not, I will worry about what she is doing.
But I am going back to remind myself of my motto last Tuesday morning when I was at the top of my game, when I had gotten my groove back. I blogged that I had told myself that I would Control What I Could Control. And that is my plan for the rest of today. I am going to control my responses, play my imaginary friend game if I have to, and keep myself calm. This morning, I was in a harried state and her suggestion that one of her high school friends was going to be driving her in the early morning hours through a major metro area was NOT acceptable. And in the middle of the morning rush when I was trying to get everyone out the door was very bad timing.
Now that I've had this hour to calm myself, listen to good advice, and remember that I can only control me, hopefully I'll be able to move on through the day and survive.
But this is SO hard. Coordinating a large family's schedule is difficult enough when everyone is at least somewhat cooperative, but when you have several that are scattered and one that is completely selfish and unwilling to see anyone else's point of view and cares nothing about the family system, it is like herding cats while trying to drag along a donkey.
And it is exhausting.