Thursday, May 15, 2008

One Day to Talk, and Talk, and Talk it Out

I’m beginning to feel a bit like Cindy mentioning something that I can’t share with anyone, and, in case you are prone to worry, you don’t need to. It isn’t anything horrible about one of the children. It’s just something personal that I can’t put on the internet.

But, regardless of what it was, I need to share my policy about emotionally challenging things. I give myself a day. I allow myself to fall apart for one day and then it is time to get busy and get over it. Yesterday was that day. After not sleeping all night, I made it to the Y, but could barely make it through my 40 minutes all on the exercise bike. I then called in to my employer and took the morning off, processing the situation with Bart for a half hour, and then tried to sleep. After lying there for 90 minutes, but only sleeping 20 of them, I gave up. Bart took me to lunch where I ordered a small bowl of soup that I couldn’t finish and I talked some more. I then went to Dunn Brothers where I talked it all out with my friend Sue (Kari was scheduled to show up and then ended up getting delayed and couldn’t make it, but fortunately Sue unexpectedly called and was her pinch hitter). That got me until school got out.

By that time I was back at my desk and Bart was online from the hotel. So we talked some more. (Poor guy). Leading me to church dinner, where I forced myself to eat something (and did not talk about it). ;-) By the time I got home it wasn’t too long until bedtime and Bart was online again to hear a little more.

With the help of Pepto Bismol and Tylenol PM, I was able to sleep 7 hours, although I woke up at 4:30 unable to go back to sleep.

But my one day to fall apart was over. Ironically, I had been struggling for several months with several issues in my life (possibly my mid-life crisis) and Sunday and Monday I felt I had done a great job of having everything placed where it belonged. They were some of the best days I had had in a long time. In fact, on Tuesday morning Bart said, “It looks like you finally got your groove back.” By Tuesday afternoon, I felt like I was back at square one.

BUT, the day I allowed myself to fall apart is over. Today is a new day. And so I just came back from My Best Workout Ever and this morning I have a meeting with a professor to talk about possible teaching opportunities some day at the local university. I don’t know that anything will come of it, but it should be a fun conversation.

And then I am determined to get some work done. And in my spare time, i have been adding old friends to my facebook. It is fun to reconnect with some of you ... so if you have come to my blog via reading about it on facebook, hello old friends. Hope to be in touch more in the days to come! And if you are a blog reader who is a member of facebook, come find me and join mine.

Someone commented asking me about what game I had been playing to keep myself quiet in the midst of stress, so I’m planning to tell you about the “Imaginary Friend Game” Check back for a post about that later today.

The day to recover is over, and now it is upward and onward, one day at a time, each day stronger than the next.

No comments: