I only have a little while this morning to blog and I have so many things to talk about. What should be first?
Let’s start with last night and I’ll keep you up to date.
Salinda actually seems to be taking my advice to make the best of the situation she is in. She was not happy about being grounded and chose not to go with us out for pizza, but she did decide to make the best of the rest of her night. When we came home from the wedding (more on that in a second) she was busy playing basketball and running around outside with Dominyk (shocked us all). Then she asked permission to stay up late so she and Sadie could watch a movie together. She was very appropriate all day.
I had a few moments of frustration as we invited all the children to come with us to Mike and Kari’s daughter Katie’s wedding and they one by one refused. About 10 years ago we made a decision not to force our teenagers to attend things with us, and now I’m wondering if that was a bad decision. We have had so many kids who will ruin an event for everyone if they are forced to go, that we make things optional. There is nothing worse than paying money to be miserable and if someone chooses not to come along, it often saves us money. However, in this case, I was disappointed because these people are our best friends in Mankato and our children were too selfish to see beyond themselves enough to get dressed up to go. So, I have a question. HOw many of you force your children to attend “all family events” and if so, how does it go?
Anyway, for a while it looked like I was going to have to go to the wedding alone, which I really didn’t want to do. I didn’t want to leave Dominyk home with JImmy (who was in a major mood) and Salinda (who has had such a rough week) but Dominyk said he didn’t want to go. Even kegs of root beer could not lure him. But he assured us he would be safe from the other kids anger and if he needed to he would just stay in the bathroom for the whole time. ;-) He had drug his whole toy box into the bathroom and was planning a lengthy “play bath.”
At the last minute, Wilson and Jimmy decided to come with us and we ended up having a wonderful time. My kids were shocked to see my wearing makeup and putting on a dress three times in one week. It’s gotta be a record.
As you can see if you click the link, Katie was a beautiful bride and everyone did so well. We had promised a ride home from the mall to RIcky and Leon, so we didn’t stay long at the reception, but I did eat one of those famous strawberries dipped in chocolate.
We came home and I took a walk with Bart and then we went to bed and I slept a long time -- awakened only by our smoke detectors at 1 a.m. which we discovered work very well -- except we have no idea what set them off. And that was another night at the Fletchers.
We are heading to yet another soccer game for Ricardo today and I have lost the paper that tells us which field he plays on, so we’ll have to leave extra early in case I have to look for it.... SIgh. I even made extra copies. But I have kids who love to come in and take things off my desk and look at them, and sometimes they just forget and walk away with them. Or, I suppose that it could have been ME that lost it, but good grief, as long as I have 9 kids here to blame for things, why would I consider that option?
2 comments:
We have always expected our children to attend all family events with us. We don't look at it as "forcing" them to go because we are a FAMILY and we think that it is sometimes more important to do something for the family than for ourselves. If someone were sick, then of course they wouldn't have to go, but if not, it is just expected and no one has ever really given us flak about it. Now, once my then 19 yo daughter told my friend that she was just thrilled to go to her cousins 4th b-day party (sarcastically) - however, this friend had a son who refused to go anywhere with her or his step-father from the time he was 9 and she never made him, so she always thought it was weird that my kids went everywhere with us. I think my daughter was fine at the party, perfectly polite and apporpriate (actually delightful) in every way - you would never have been able to tell she was bored and that was a testimony to her behaving as a gracious guest. Maybe if you broached it as something the kids are doing for the other family - to please them and be gracious to them, instead of them feeling forced, it would help. Geez, spending time together as a family isn't supposed to be a punishment to anyone, they shouldn't feel that way.
Yes, I wish we would have done this all along, maybe things would be different.
There are only a few who see being with our family as a punishment ... and they make sure that if we determine something is a "whole family event" that they punish us for making them come.
Weird, unfortunate family dynamic. I'm not proud of it... and I'm not sure that it is something I want to try to tackle and change at this point.
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