Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Taking a Day Off

Thanks to everyone for their encouraging words and to Tim for his honesty in his comments. We all need to be kept in check sometimes.

Today I'm taking the day off from one thing -- Salinda. Yesterday I devoted many hours to her schoolwork and our relationship to only have her end the day by submitting assignments that she new were incorrect just because she didn't want to take the time to learn about it. I'm about ready to simply tell her that she is 16 years old and if she flunks the classes they will offer them again during summer school. She has dreams of becoming an FBI investigator and knows she will need college, so whatever she does it will eventuallly be her life.

Tough line for parents to balance. Do we step in and help our kids or do we step back and let them fail so they can learn? Either way it may not make much difference in the long run, but I'm sure those who can emotionally disengage are probably emotionally healthier than parents carrying the burden.

So for today I'm going to let her do what she will. I'm going to spend the entire day away from the house at the coffee shop and in meetings. And whatever she gets done she gets done.

I needed the break. And if the result is that she fails the semester, it's her choice. Of course, I have to live with the fallout.

Oh no -- temptation to run home and drag her out of bed so I don't have to live with her attitude just took over -- but I"m resisting.....


Anonymous said...

Hello Claudia! We have a daughter who's doing online school...and right now also going through many issues with depression, school has become a "back-burner" issue. It's hard to feel like we're not pushing them to succeed, but on the other hand, I feel like we're pushing her to succeed emotionally and with her all-around well-being rather than just academically. That will come in time! :) Hang in there...enjoy your day at the coffee shop! I'm thinking about spending time there myself today! :) God bless your day!

Linda B. said...

You're doing all you can do and that is enough. I wonder the same things with our 18 yr old senior who isn't diagnosed with anything. It's so hard to know how involved to be when they resist. I think you made a good choice to take a day off. How about longer?