SO yesterday's conclusion of the dishes story had some pluses and some minuses.
1) I didn't have to wake him up again, he was up on his own. Plus.
2) He said, "I am planning to do the dishes after work." Plus.
I explained that just this once I would let him get by with it because Bart was out of town and I wasn't going to be home. Another son, who was home, stacked them neatly.
3) He came home from school and said that the dishes had appeared out of nowhere and that there were way more than when he left for work. He left without doing a single one. Minus.
4) When I texted him and pointed out that his sister wasn't going to be happy about having to do all his dishes, he texted back that they had multiplied during the day. I explained that the house had gotten cleaned which is why he should have done them in the morning when I woke him up. I texted that he shouldn't use that as an excuse not to do a single dish. He texted back that they had just appeared out of nowhere. I texted back that that is why most of the kids did dishes right after supper instead of waiting until another day had gone past. He did not respond. Minus.
5) He came home, said not a word, did not a dish. Minus.
6) His sister forgot she had dishes last week and had promised to help the person who had done them for her, and failed to do so, so I didn't feel too guilty that she had to do his, especially since we didn't eat at home last night, so the dishes got done. Plus.
7) I kept my cool and didn't even get angry. Plus.
8) But that's because I never really expected to do them in the first place. Minus.
People ask how long we will allow adults to live here. I guess at this point, we have no deadline. Each kid is very different. But as long as we have a home here and they need a place to stay and are not horribly influencing the other kids we probably won't say much. Especially since a few of them are hardly here.
One of the most interesting things is that the kids who are "adults" and who we are no longer legally responsible for are the ones who complain most about how many people live here. ;-)
1 comment:
Funny thing about chores at our house. Whenever we have had a set list of chores that each child (or adult child) was expected to do, it didn't go well. They all got tired/bored with the same chores all the time. And since the chores were routine, they got no special applause or appreciation.
Most of them have also not been very good about just seeing something that needs doing, and doing it. (Some have gotten better at that as they have gotten older, though.)
MOST of them will do what we ask them to do, when we ask it, however, and especially if it's a flurry of everyone doing something together. (Maybe it feels more "fair" that way, I don't know.) The other thing that tends to work fairly well is making a list of chores and allowing them to choose which ones they will do. Admittedly, some will slack, but generally most of the list gets done, and there's some competitive element there - whoever gets there first, gets to choose the "best" chores - which means leaving worse chores for their siblings, probably another plus. ;-)
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