Thursday, April 01, 2010

Skipping Supper

I skipped supper tonight. Bart was in a hurry and didn't eat and I skipped supper because our cash card is missing and I didn't want to eat a meal with someone who would do that to us. Eating supper with a traitor ... that's how I felt .. and I couldn't make myself do it.

And I thought about how appropriate that was tonight of all nights. Tonight we are going to church to commemorate the Last Supper. On the Last Supper Jesus sat down with all 12 of his disciples. He broke bread with them. He shared a common cup. And the whole time he knew that one of those -- in fact, he knew which one -- was going to betray him with a kiss. I wonder if he wanted to skip supper.

Loving someone who always loves you back is easy. Loving someone who loves you back most of the time isn't even that bad. Loving someone who used to love you and who you hope will again love you some day can be tolerated for a season. But loving someone who nearly perpetually uses and mistreats you -- that can't be done without some supernatural power.

Jesus, when he was being tortured, said the phrase, "Father, forgive them. They know not what they do." And I am fairly convinced that this is true of my children. Does someone with attachment disorder know how it feels to feel betrayed? Manipulated? Used? I don't think so. Does someone with FASD know the repercussions of an impulsive act? Certainly not.

And so, as I contemplate the journey of Jesus during this Holy Week, I find myself reminded that Jesus couldn't skip supper. He faced it, washed the feet of the guy who was about to betray him, broke bread with another guy who he knew was going to deny him three times, and shared a cup of wine with folks who he knew would fall asleep when he asked them just to stay awake with him for an hour. His twelve did not shine during Holy Week. In fact, as a group, they were pretty pathetic.

And so with Jesus, I will choose love. I will choose to serve those who don't always do well, even if there intentions are good. I will choose to be kind to those who are not kind to me and to smile at those who are scowling my way. I will choose to give myself up for those who at times spitefully use me. And I will pray to God the words Jesus used, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."


GB's Mom said...

I understand the theory, but Jesus does soooooo much better than I ever will. Still I keep trying, giving it my best. Watching you struggle and still do the right thing (mostly) gives me hope that I will grow to that point too.

Little Wonder said...

God's love to us and our poor behavior in response is truly a picture of what RAD is all about.