Sunday, October 26, 2008

Another Stupid Day that Ended Well and another good day that started stupidly?

Salinda continued on her rampage for most of the day. She was angry and upset and took it out on everyone. The stress level was very high because she was cussing me out every time I spoke to her. She was refusing to do what I asked, and thus several of the other children followed suit. It didn't go well.

This seems to happen every time I speak and explain to people how mature I am and how much I've learned about parenting. I tell them all about how they SHOULD do things -- and then I come home and do the opposite. Makes me crazy.

By 5:20 last night she had finally gotten herself out of her funk. She came to my office and gave me a note explaining why she was upset and how mad she was at herself for messing up her own weekend. I went upstairs and she finally talked to me.

She asked permission to go somewhere. I explained to her in great detail why I didn't feel it was a wise choice. I told her though, that I would let her make the decision. She chose to go. We agreed that I would pick her up htis morning around 9 so she could get home and get ready for church.

About 5:30 a.m. she called and asked me to get her. I won't go into much detail here as some of her high drama "friends" or "enemies" might read this, but let's just say she didn't have a good time. She is exhausted and only has a few hours to sleep.

But she was open and honest with me, admitted she shouldn't have gone, told me not to let her go again and explained why it wasn't a good suggestion.

Now if she can just make herself get up and do what she's supposed to do, maybe we'll have an OK day. SIgh.


r. said...

Sounds like parenthood and adolescence may have something in common in that this "maturity" you speak of comes in waves and spurts, rather than consistent development. Don't be so hard on yourself. Learning new ways of responding to your daughter means completely replacing an old mode of decision-making and applying it to about a bazillion new situations. As with Salinda's new decision-making skills, the important thing isn't that it's applied 100% consistently (right away, at least), but that the trend is in the right direction.

I'm not a parent, but watching your hard work is inspiring. I think a lot of people's instinct, when facing trouble with their kids, would be to dig in the trenches and do more of the same--especially in the face of criticism from probation officers, etc., saying that they're not being strict enough. Good for you for being willing to reconsider everything and try new ideas.

Linda B said...

Bravo! for both of you.