Definition of Success

Yesterday, Rand turned 17. He came to us at 11. He had had 15 different foster care placements, had been in the system for 7 years. Had an adoption disruption that separated him from two younger siblings.

He's not the same kind of success that Kyle is. Kyle also came to us at 11 with a history as well, but Kyle is bright, motivated, and a survivor. After years of dedication from Bart, Kyle is now a college sophomore, making good grades, who has held down a job since he was 14, drives, and was involved in many different activities in high school. Everyone who meets him thinks he is polite and is impressed with him. He's handsome, dresses with style, and the outside observer would perceive him as one who does things right. He got tips at Dairy Queen, for goodness sake.

Rand is a success in a very different way. He has overcome many of his issues. His IQ is not really high, he still needs special ed. But as a child he was diagnosed with Panic Disorder, PDD, ODD, RAD, Expressive Language Disorder, PTSD, and was drug exposed at birth. When he was 9 he spent most of his time rolled up in a tight ball. He could not bounce a basketball or a play with a yo yo. He was in a Level 5 day treatment program for his EBD issues at school.

Rand is now 6'5" and weighs 300 pounds. He was on the B honor roll all last year. He made so much progress that he "graduated" from all EBD services a couple years ago. He has completed driver's ed. He is on the football team this year and has been making it to all his practices, a huge accomplishment because in past years he's only lasted a couple days and then pretended to be at practice and not gone.

But the biggest success is Rand's heart. He is tender hearted. He is cooperative most of the time. He is respectful. He has maintained solid friendships with two other guys at school who he is loyal to. He just finished being a Junior Counselor at Camp Friendship, a camp for developmentally delayed children and adults that he used to attend. Next year they have said they will hire him for a paid position.

Sure, he still has his issues, but he loves to be helpful. He does things that other kids his age are too cool to do, like keep score at little league baseball games so it is done right. He's the only 17 year old I know who thinks that being helpful is more important than being cool.

Happy Birthday, Rand. You've come a long way, son!