Sunday, August 28, 2005

Record breaking day

I think that I have spent less time in front of the computer today than i have in months.

Came home, fixed big huge cookie sheets full of nachos with those leftover black beans (kids at them ALL) and then watched a very stupid movie. Went to the park, read a whole book, tried to watch a couple more dumb movies, just sat around.

Part of it was just that I needed a break, but another reason was that I was kind of having an emotional shut down.

Bart had the weeky visit with our son at the RTC and it did not go well again. He is doing a lot of manipulating, but the bottom line is that we are in a very tight corner with this situation. According to him, everyone is telling him that it's a voluntarily placement and we can take him out at any time. However, these same people are telling us he has a 30% or less chance of success if we bring him home. If we go against their advice and say we want to bring him home, they can either file a CHIPS (been there, done that, hated it) or we can live knowing that if he comes home and chooses not to do what he needs to do and gets in trouble with the law, we will have been negligent to have removed him from the program.

There are several other things going on with this that I probably better not blog, but the bottom line is that we can't win either way, and every day that goes by he hates us and blames us more than he did the day before.

In addiiton, the birthmom I've been translating for changed her mind in the last hour of her 10 day period and now I get to translate for the situation when the devastated adoptive parents give the baby back to her.

I have to face the next two days home alone and PCAless again as Bart is heading back to the Cities for another weekend.

So, what could I do? I had to escape in books and movies and bide my time until tomorrow comes and I can try to work on some of these situations.

It's almost like I have a consistent diet of nothing but stress daily lately, and I'm ready for something different.

Dang, I hate it when I get whiny.

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