Finally Home

12 hours on the road. But it was worth it. I saw a boy who has been in his new adoptive home for 7 months let his new mom hug him for the first time. I think it was a break through and I"m thrilled.

I also got to see a girl who has been in her new home for a week go from angry and mad and avoiding everyone to sparkly and happy and bouncing around.

Unfortunately, I also had to talk to a 14 year old girl, my own, to ask if she'd like a visit. (I was going to be within 20 minutes of her). She said she didn't want me to stop, that she preferred to talk on the phone. But then when she had a chance she wouldn't say a word. I finally reminded her that we love her and told her I'd see her when we got back.

She has spent a few days having the full attention of three indivduals who are interviewing her asking her about what she needs, why she is being the way she's been, what will help her. I have seen kids in this position before. She has decided she'll get a better deal from somenoe else so she's done playing me for a while.

It makes me sad. I feel used. But I know it will all come back around at some point -- when she figures the better deal is here. I just hope people won't be too maniuplated. But for now it's out of my hands and I am trying so hard to just let it go for a while.

In reading blogs of families like ours there are so often times when kids are empowered by the system to report us, make falso allegations, and see what they can get. With attachment disorders, they are like a toddler in a candy store.... and the professionals eat it all up.

But this time I'm going to relax and let things go where they go and try not to control anything.

Until tomorrow when I am sending a long email to her P.O.

Oh wait, maybe not.

Or maybe...