I'm convinced these boys are going to be OK. They were both willing to give me big hugs goodbye until Thursday.
Someone asked in a comment if we would adopt the older children if they were to become legally free. The fact is, they will not ever be legally free.... they are in permanent foster care. However, the reason I am taking them out to supper is so that I can get to know them and explain that we want them included in the lives of the boys and in the life of our family. I don't know what this might mean, if anything, but we will offer. Their older sister is 17 and their brother is almost 16. He has been in the same foster home with them so we met him the other night.
I had a good conversation with the foster mom and have a lot of respect for her. She and her husband are doing a good job with the boys in their home -- it is very structured and organized.
Tonight I'm feeling quite melancholy and vulnerable, which is unlike me. It appears Mike is no longer in jail according to the jail website and that makes me nervous. Salinda's hearing tomorrrow makes me nervous. I miss my kids at home, my new kids here, and my husband. It's a good thing I'm hardly ever alone. I suck at it.
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