I'm having breakfast at Dunn Brothers with Kari -- we're burning dvds for something for her work and I am working at the same time. A multitasking carnival. (I had other words in mind, but need to be appropriate and Kari talked me out of all of them).
Apparently the Probation Officer talked to Salinda this morning and she was very convincing. She told the Probation Officer that this was a big wake up call for her, that she had learned her lesson, and that she wanted to come home.
What she doesn't know is that she will most likely, if the probation officer gets the judge to follow her recommendation, be coming home with an ankle bracelet. And she may have it on for a month.
Now for those of you who know how nasty she can be, you probably think we are dreading this and hating the thought of her being home and rude for the next month. And while we are not looking forward to it, it takes the burden completely off us and places it on her. The county is basically grounding her. If she asks me if she can go somewhere, I can say, "I guess I wouldn't advise it because you'll violate your probation and go to Juvenile Detention, but if you want to I guess you can."
And, there are plenty of privileges that she she can lose at home if she is nasty. And if she wants to play hard ball, I'm in the mood for the game.... She has pushed me far enough that i'm not messing around.
So, I figure within a month we'll either have a daughter with an attitude adjustment or a daughter living somewhere else. But it's her choice and we will not have to go through the CHIPS process.
I do not look forward to the next month and yet this route to either destruction or reformation seems to be a much better one -- when it is initiated and perpetuated by the child. I realize that most people cannot get their head around some of the things I say, but we've learned the hard way.
As you who have been reading the last two years, this is the third time we've parented a kid who is on the "I'm going to ruin my life if I want to and there is nothing you can do to stop me" track. And we've learned that that statement is true. We will provide the structure, the love and the support but if they choose the wrong thing, we have to ride the ride with them.
And the least amount of stress we absorb the better.