Saturday, September 30, 2006

The FAS Fog

We’re living in the land of uncertainly and I’m sure Mike is living in a fog. We just have to hope that he pulls himself together. Historically he forgets to call home and then he figures he’s in trouble so he just avoids home as long as he can possibly hold out, digging himself deeper and deeper into a hole. He sabotages success every time it rears it’s head.

So far today, I’ve heard from a couple of his friends that he is with D, that he might be with C. And B called and said he told her he would hang out with her here in town today, and another girl called and said that he had promised here he would be in a town an hour from here to visit him today with another guy. Of course, we don’t know what if any of this is true, and we’re just putting out the message that he isn’t in trouble, but he needs to let us know where he is.

Meanwhile we sit here and wonder how long he’ll be gone. He’s only been home two weeks and it’s like reliving the same nightmare. Except that this time he’s 17 1/2 and he is throwing away his future, not his ability to live in our home for the next five months. We’re not going to tell anyone he can’t live here... but he is throwing away many of the things he wants in the future as we are not going to be able to have him live without rules.

He has a senior picture appointment this week and the awesome job we got him starts in 9 days. The whole situation bothers me on every level and I’m trying hard not to think about it, but it seems to pervade every thought.

Now you know why I have this post bookmarked and why I get nervous about every return home... because he either can’t or won’t make it successfully, regardless of what we set up for him.

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