When it Comes to Teenage Girls, You Can't Win

I was trying to make it until my departure this morning with everyone on an even keel. Last night I was self-differentiated and was able to disengage. I was calm, had a good night’s sleep, and woke up refreshed. I had almost made it until Salinda came down five minutes before she was supposed to leave to see that she only had $1.70 on “the chart”. ( Since we have so many thieves in our home, money is never handed out. People have money on the chart and whenever they need it they can get cash from us).

Last night, Salinda asked me if she could go to the mall tonight after tennis and I told her that she could. But this morning all the sudden she put two and two together and realized that she wanted to have MONEY to go to the mall.

Now, you seasoned parents of teenage girls all know this, but I didn’t realize until that moment that it would be MY fault that she didn’t have the money and MY responsibility to bail her out. I tried the love and logic approach “Wow, I’m sorry that your friends decided to go to the mall when you don’t have any money. I guess you could still go.” Didn’t go well.

So, for the 10 minutes before she left (she left five minutes late) I had to hear about how I always let other people borrow (VERY, VERY seldom does this happen). She stomped around and sighed, and snorted, and I think even shed some tears.

I’ve said many times in the last year that I’d rather parent 100 boys than another girl. She just has a way about her that communicates such sheer disgust with me that I internally crumble (but I don’t give in outwardly). I’d much rather be cussed out and have a chair thrown at me. It’s over quicker.

But I’m learning, and someday maybe I’ll get used to it.