Sunday, September 24, 2006

Why Can't I?

I used to be the queen of sleeping in. When I was in high school and college, I pushed myself hard all week long, stayed up late on Fridays and then was lucky to make it up for lunch.

Even as a singe person in my 20s, I slept in. And after marriage and kids, when Bart would let me, I would be able to at least make it until 9 on a Saturday.

But lately I wake up between 6 and 7 and can’t go back to sleep. So today, when I was planning to go to the late service and allowing myself to sleep in as late as 9 I was up at 6:30 and couldn’t go back to sleep.

I do OK if I can stop the thoughts from coming in, but sometime today I need to have a conversation with Mike. He’s going to say that he is “getting yelled at” but there are several things that I want to address with him about the past week in regards to what he said was going to be his focus. I am going to need to be as calm and as patient as possible, but historically it has never gone well. So I have to lie and obsess about that until I finally give up and get up.

So, in about 30 minutes I’ll wake up all the kids and we’ll go to early service after all. Tony is already up and 4 of the kids were planning to go to early service anyway... Then afterwards I can come home with all of them and sit here without Bart. At that point I will be able to decide which one was harder -- sitting here before church without him, or sitting here after church without him.

Weekends are so hard during the school year. The very expected routine of school all the sudden disappears and nobody does well.

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