Saturday, August 12, 2006

And In Come the Thoughts

Lately I have been exhausted and night, hardly able to keep my eyes closed, but when I do, the thoughts come marching in... thoughts from everywhere that are not pleasant.

This morning I woke up a couple hours before I had to and the same thing happened. Thoughts like, “What is going to happen when the new county worker comes? Are they going to continue to blame us for John’s behavior? What exactly have we done this time? How can I explain the situation without sounding angry or defensive when I’m probably a little bit of both? How can we keep them from placing him in regular foster care and endangering another family?

So I rehearse conversations in my mind of how I will say what and, you guessed it, I can’t go back to sleep.

Today I have the job of cleaning out John’s room again -- always a sad and emotional thing. This won’t be the first time I’ve had to do it, that’s for sure. And each time I find things that shed light on other things he was doing that I didn’t know about.

And it will get the other kids riled up.

So I’m looking forward to THAT task...

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