Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Not Looking Forward to My Day

I wish I could say I feel emotionally prepared for my day, but I don’t. The tension with Sadie broke last night, but her unnamed sister is still targetting me as the reason for all the evils in this world. At least, to her credit, she isn’t in my face all the time -- she will spend hours hiding from me when she is angry and I can choose when I want to begin the next round of the battle of words.

The “Cable Guy” is coming back this morning and I have to clean my bedroom before he gets here. I laughed outloud at Kari's post about her bedroom because mine has clean laundry everywhere as well. I hate it when it gets like that, but I just haven’t had time to get it taken care of for a while. Now I have a deadline, so it will get done.

We have court at 2:30 and even though it appears we will be treated with more dignity and respect, It is not something I look forward to or will enjoy. I think that the PTSD that I referred to last night has really done a number on my psychy. We have had so many bad experiences in court that like Pavlov’s dogs, we are expecting certain things to happen. As the website indicates, “Pavlov's experiment proved that all animals could be trained or conditioned to expect a consequence on the results of previous experience”

Though I am not an animal, I have been trained to expect a consequence on the results of previous experience. So when the idea of going to court presents itself, I am not filled with warm fuzzy feelings.

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