Cindy has been on a rampage about parents stepping up to the plate and being parents. I am finding this especially challenging with teenage girls. Today I explained to mine that if she wanted her cell phone back then she and I were going to look through it every night. I was going to ask her questions about who she had added to her list of contacts. I was going to find who she had talked to that day and who had called her. I was going to be involved in her life.
I told her it would give me a chance to learn a little more about her life and explained to her that most of the GOOD things she wanted in life she could probably get if she learned to be honest with me and work with me instead of consistently working against me. I told her that I was not going to be her friend and that I was going to be her mother. I’m not going to go the route of the permissive parent. I want my kids to grow up and be independent adults someday who are doing the right thing.
She has told me previously that she is going to choose who she wants to be. I have explained to her that I realize that she can choose to do the wrong thing any time she wants to, but that I am not going to make it easy for her to do the wrong thing. I’m not going to have her grow up with me regretting not doing more to guide her in the right direction.
But she’s my sixth teenager, so I know by now that she can and will choose her own path. I spent my summer making sure John was headed in the right direction, but he grabbed that bat and went his own way.
I can and do pray that all my children will make those good choices, but I know that I can’t control them. I can guide, remind, direct, consequence and discipline, but I can’t force morality or compliance.
I’m off to take Dominyk to visit his birth grandmother and to pick up Rand to come home from his summer working at Camp Friendship. I’ll be on the road for many hours, so if I’m not blogging don’t panic. :-)
I told her it would give me a chance to learn a little more about her life and explained to her that most of the GOOD things she wanted in life she could probably get if she learned to be honest with me and work with me instead of consistently working against me. I told her that I was not going to be her friend and that I was going to be her mother. I’m not going to go the route of the permissive parent. I want my kids to grow up and be independent adults someday who are doing the right thing.
She has told me previously that she is going to choose who she wants to be. I have explained to her that I realize that she can choose to do the wrong thing any time she wants to, but that I am not going to make it easy for her to do the wrong thing. I’m not going to have her grow up with me regretting not doing more to guide her in the right direction.
But she’s my sixth teenager, so I know by now that she can and will choose her own path. I spent my summer making sure John was headed in the right direction, but he grabbed that bat and went his own way.
I can and do pray that all my children will make those good choices, but I know that I can’t control them. I can guide, remind, direct, consequence and discipline, but I can’t force morality or compliance.
I’m off to take Dominyk to visit his birth grandmother and to pick up Rand to come home from his summer working at Camp Friendship. I’ll be on the road for many hours, so if I’m not blogging don’t panic. :-)
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