Yesterday I called the detention center where John is and told them he could call if he wanted to. He called and left a message and I called him back.
The conversation was heart wrenching. He sobbed that he didn’t belong there. He told me if we were really his parents we would let him come home. He tried to find ways to blame us.
But he never said he was sorry. Never admitted that he did anything wrong. As the conversation went further he swore and at that point I hung up.
I truly have taken the roll of the victim in a domestic abuse situation because for a while I felt sorry for him. I felt my heart tugging toward rescuing him. And just from a 10 minute phone conversation my emotional energy was completely zapped.
But after thinking about it and talking with Bart, I think he needs more time to think before we have more contact with him. He is certainly not ready to restore a relationship when he is still focused on how we are the problem.
So I am going to write him a letter this morning and let him know that he needs to spend some more time thinking and that we need to spend some more time healing. The other kids, also victims, need my attention.
I also am going to be gone most of the day placing some children in their adoptive home. I hope that my experiences this week have not tainted me so much that I can’t share in the joy of their placement.
The conversation was heart wrenching. He sobbed that he didn’t belong there. He told me if we were really his parents we would let him come home. He tried to find ways to blame us.
But he never said he was sorry. Never admitted that he did anything wrong. As the conversation went further he swore and at that point I hung up.
I truly have taken the roll of the victim in a domestic abuse situation because for a while I felt sorry for him. I felt my heart tugging toward rescuing him. And just from a 10 minute phone conversation my emotional energy was completely zapped.
But after thinking about it and talking with Bart, I think he needs more time to think before we have more contact with him. He is certainly not ready to restore a relationship when he is still focused on how we are the problem.
So I am going to write him a letter this morning and let him know that he needs to spend some more time thinking and that we need to spend some more time healing. The other kids, also victims, need my attention.
I also am going to be gone most of the day placing some children in their adoptive home. I hope that my experiences this week have not tainted me so much that I can’t share in the joy of their placement.
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