Saturday, August 05, 2006

We've Made It

The day was a good one. Very non-eventful. I think everyone had a nice enough time.

But John is refusing to take his meds -- has almost all week and his behavior deteriorates every day. I spent the day dreading any interaction with him which kind of put a damper on things. However, it appears that he is hyper and “hilarious” as opposed to edgy and mean. Even though he is diagnosed with Conduct Disorder and is not, according to his former Psychiatrist, Bi-polar, he is on several meds that are usually prescribed for it. When he stops taking them we see a marked difference.

Sad thing is, he has made tons of progress since May and I would hate to see him throw it all away. After leaving the psych hospital in May he has obeyed most of the rules and been willing, though not silently, to accept the consequences if he doesn’t. He just finished his first week of work where he was scheduled for 10 hours. This next week it will be 12. I’m hoping they keep increasing them. A week from Monday he will start football practice. If we can just get through this week we should be OK.

I have been fairly exhausted lately. Right now though, I am going to try to work on Matching Bash Charts. As you know if you have been reading my blog regularly, I put together charts to help Adopt America Specialists match during our monthly matching bashes. The process of putting them together is not mentally challenging. However, it is sometimes very difficult for me emotionally as I watch kids get older and older without a family. The charts go by age, and I know that based on statistics each time I put a child on an older chart, their chances of getting a family before they age out get slimmer. My charts are 0-10, 11-14, and 15-17. I feel an emotional blow each time I move them up.

There are kids on the charts that I have been working on finding a family for for over two years. When I see them, my heart sinks.

So tonight, I will physically and mentally be doing something that is not that a computer literate ape could do. But emotionally, I will find myself as I look at pictures and copy and paste profiles, worry about kids who will soon be on their own. I will lament the fact that at this time we cannot adopt any more. I will pray for them, I will search my brain to think of people I know who might adopt one or more of them, I will ask myself why more people don’t see this as something they have to do. And, considering how sleep deprived I am, I might shed a tear or two. But I will go to bed more and more determined to not let my frustration with the system lesson my passion to do all I can to change the world, one kid at a time.

Because what I took for granted for much of my life, these Orphans of the Living will go to bed without tonight -- one person committed to them forever.

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