After several visitors today I finally, for the first time, had some moments alone with my daughter. We were able to talk a bit about a few of the concerns I have that have come up in the past couple days. She was receptive and listened to my concerns. I read her Bart's blog post and we cried together. She comforted me as I was crying harder, which was an interesting role. She thanked me for being here with her, said she missed Bart and wanted to know when he'd be back.
If you have read this blog for a couple years you know the struggles we have had over past three and a half years. There will be more in the future. But an online friend told me that it is what it is and just because it isn't ideal doesn't make it less. I am trying to focus on that and rejoice in small things. And there is no way on earth that anyone could not love this baby -- regardless of the circumstances.
Now I know that you are tired of hearing about her already and I'm really not as gaga as you think I am over this baby (i just have free time and like photoshop) but the baby really is good. She hardly ever cries. She is amazing. She eats well, sleeps well. Perfect. I'm going to get up early again so I can hold her tomorrow.