Thursday, December 24, 2009

For Those Who Don't Follow Twitter -- NO BABY YET

On the way to the hospital we get a text that the medicine to "induce" really is a very mild first step that needed to be in her system for at least 12 hours to work. We found out later talking to the doctor that he had given her Cirvidil. We went ahead and went anyway. The roads were not good.

When we got there around 2:40 (they had inserted the medication around 2) we had to wait twenty minutes to get into the OB ward because it was quiet hours. WE got there and had a long 3 hour visit with Salinda, her boyfriend, his mom and sister, and Sadie and JOhn who had come with us. I asked to talk to the doctor.

He was relieved to finally be talking to us. According to Minnesota law, physicians do not have to have consent to treat anything that is pregnancy related and thus they are not by law allowed to contact a minor's parents even though they can bill our insurance. So I think that all along he felt weird not knowing us or being able to communicate. Salinda's boyfriend's mom had commented that they had been treated rudely by nurses who were very nice to us, so I coudln't help but wonder if race, stereotypes and preconceived notions hadn't played a part in the whole thing.

Just an aside -- think about this picture: 16 year old hispanic female goes to the hospital with her boyfriend and his mother for weeks on end. Her parents don't show up ever. One of her insurances is Medical Assistance. What is the picture you paint in your mind about where that girl lives, who her parents are and how they feel about her? Just another example about how the tip itself reveales little about the iceburg below.

Anyway, the nurse was quite surprised that Salinda's parents were white, though I think Salinda had told the doctor that she was adopted. The doctor explained to us thoroughly that Salinda was fine, the baby was fine, but with her kidney complications, Salinda was in a lot of pain. He nearly assured us that he would most likely be sending her home the next day without a baby and that we should come home last night and avoid driving in the worst of the storm. So we took Henry's mom and sister out to dinner and then made the trecherous 2.5 hour trip home (to go 65 miles). We arrived safely at 10:30 p.m.

This morning by eight the doctor had agreed that she needed to be given another medication because she had been contracting during the night which the Cervidil had caused. So this morning he gave her Pitocin and that is supposed to make her dialate. But we are facing the worst storm in 20 years over the next two days and so I either needed to head back up there right away or wait and risk missing the birth.

It was a tough call, but I have decided to stay home. I really don't think the doctor would have sent us home if he believed that we would miss the baby's birth. But the bottom line is that it is Christmas Eve, I have a pastor for a husband and 9 other kids who want to celebrate Christmas with me. Her choice to have the baby there in that hospital was made and now it may result in me not being there. I told Salinda that if she was in labor that I would come as soon tomorrow as the roads looked passable, but that I would stay here for Wilson's birthday here and Christmas eve tonight, and be here to open presents in the morning.

I am not sure how much it matters to her. I know she wants us there, but she'll be ok. It probably matters more to me, but again, I don't get to make the choices.

So we're headed into Christmas eve. Kyle and Christy, because of the storm and the fact we thought we were going to be in Hutchinson today, are heading to her parents and visiting next week. Mike is in jail. Salinda is in the hospital. But the other 9 children, Bart and I will be here to enjoy the holiday.

And maybe tomorrow, or the day after that, or sometime next week, or possibly in January, there WILL be a baby.

Oh the drama.


Linda B said...

yikes! I can feel the anxiety just reading this. Not that it matters what I think, but I do think you made the right decision. My daughter DQ is very similar to Salinda even down to being Latina and on MA. We've had that scenario with us not being involved in her life (according to her stories) so I am sure many pictures have been painted about us too. Thank God it wasn't pregnancy related though. Just beating her up and kicking her out. I know I wouldn't know unless I was in your shoes, but I think I would have made the same decision not to drive to the hospital over Christmas eve. It's not the other kids's fault that she is in the situation she is. On the other hand I know how I would be thinking, maybe this would be a major player in her trusting me and our relationship and this is your first grandchild and you have never experienced giving birth (I haven't either). BUT on the third hand what about the rest of the family......oh my stomach is in knots for you! So you just enjoy your Christmas and I'll keep the knots and stress for you....take care.

mainiac said...

Claudia, When I had my baby almost 6 years ago, I had pitocin and didn't have him until 30 hours later. I'll be praying that you don't miss the birth. Be very careful on the roads. Merry Christmas to all of you! -Melissa

Marge said...

Salinda will be fine. She has the doctors, the father, and the other grandparents, so she is going to be okay. I know you want to be there, but Minnesota is Minnesota! I was 2000 miles away from home when I had all three of my birth kids, and it was okay. We will continue to pray for Salinda and the baby. And we will pray for your patience......and when the patience gives out, we'll pray for your safety on the road.

I pray you have a Blessed Christmas.


r. said...

I was going to go Linda's route. She was *obviously* kicked out of the house for being pregnant . . . (Yeah, I know, no irony there . . .)