50 Reasons my Morning Sucked

Now, other people write blog entries called “100 things about me” or “50 things about me” and tell things about them like “the girl next to me peed her pants and it got on my dress on my first day of first grade (that is true about me by the way). But instead, I figured that I could tell you 50 reasons why my morning sucked. I mean good grief, Heather Anderson and her husband are both making a living off of her posts about constipation, anxiety and farting, so shouldn’t this count for something?

1) I woke up without my husband in my bed (he is gone on a trip).
2) I woke up at 6 when I didn’t have to get up until 6:45.
3) I woke up with my elbow hurting bad.
4) After waking up Tony to get in the shower, Salinda scared me by opening my door to see who was in the shower because she wanted to go to the bathroom (even though we do have two).
5) Dominyk refused to take his pills this morning without 5 solid minutes of counting, threatening, cajoling, promising, nearly bribing.
6) Dominyk refused to go downstairs.
7) I forgot to comb my hair.
8) Tony could not find his hat, boots, gloves or snowpants.
9) Tony stole a cookie from the kitchen, declaring it breakfast.
10) When I told Tony that he couldn’t have the cookie, he threw it against the wall in the living room, breaking it into several pieces.
11) Tony had patrol and was late.
12) Because Tony was late, I could not take the first group unless he was in it, so the girls sat and glared at me because he wasn’t getting ready fast enough.
13) I lost it and acted like a stupid, immature jerk.
14) I threw my keys for emphasis and then couldn’t find them.
15) My dryer is drying slowly, so it’s taking 3 times as long to do a load.
16) Dominyk told me all his stuff was at school so he didn’t need boots, hat, gloves, snowpants.
17) Dominyk wouldn’t get dressed.
18) Dominyk took too long to get his shoes on.
19) When I lost it and acted like a jerk I screamed at Tony and said, ”YOU have to hurry up because I can’t stand it that your sisters are staring at me like I’m a horrible parent because you won’t listen.“ That meant that Tony had to hit Sadie.
20) Sadie cried a lot of drama queen but sincere and guilt inspiring sobs of pain.
21) Ricardo sat and watched me yell at Dominyk and Tony and forgot to find his backpack and gloves.
22) When we finally got in the vehicle, Tony continued to be a mean and horrible pain while his sisters glared at me with the ”if you were a better parent he’d be a better kid“ look the whole way there.
23) I decided to reward myself for surviving the morning by a trip to McDonalds for food that is bad for me.
24) They forgot my hashbrowns at McDonalds and I decided that it was a message from God and didn’t go back and get them.
25) My Bacon, Egg and Cheese Biscuit was cold and hard and tasted like it had been sitting on the counter for 20 minutes.
26) I’m so pathetic I ate the whole BE&C Biscuit anyway.
27) I returned home and was reading through notes from the school. I noticed that Dominyk started swimming lessons today and I forgot to send trunks and a towel.
28) I received and email from Dominyk’s teacher saying that not only did he need swimming trunks, but that he can no longer leave his winter stuff at school. He has to bring home everything every night and bring it back every morning.
29) My great friend Bill took time to read through my book and offered some helpful criticism, and I was mean to him and told him I couldn’t take any today so he’d have to send it later. (I know, why ask people to edit the book and give me constructive criticism if I’m just going to freak about it and let it make me feel bad? I think I’m bordering on psychosis here.
30) One of my families called about therapy for their new son and it not only reminded me about a nightmare I had, but made me feel fairly inadequate that I didn’t have a perfect therapist to recommend.
31) All thirty of those things had happened by 8:30 a.m, leaving me exhausted with no energy to do the massive amounts of work I had planned for today.
32) The worker for one of my families anticipating a placement date and trying to make flight arrangements sent me an email that basically said ”we need to talk I’ll call you later“ sending panic through me because last week she called saying it might not happen after all. (fortunately, this has been cleared up).
33) I have 293 messages in my in-box.
34) I have exactly 418 messages that I have to go through and put kids on charts from and I haven’t started yet.
35) DId I mention that my elbow hurts so using the mouse hurts so making the charts is going to hurt?
36) My desk is piled so high with crap that I can’t find anything. (Just an FYI, it’s not literal crap.)
37) The literal crap is hidden around the house because Gizmo thinks 13 below is too cold to crap in.
38) My house is so cluttered that I am stepping over things just to go to the bathroom, but I have not time to do anything because I’m swamped.
39) People who are reading this are thinking that if I am so swamped I should be doing something else besides blogging.
40) I have two post-placement reports to type, and one phone call to make to finish up a third and one of them is going to be so hard and so long that I can’t make myself start.
41) I took Dominyk swimming trunks and a towel at 11 ONLY to see that every OTHER mother in this town is such a good mom that she gave her kids a plastic BAG to put their wet towel and trunks in, while I, the stupid, inept, no attention to detail, idiot just gave him the towel and trunks and no bag, making him look different from everyone else and I’m sure, making the teacher roll her ever-so-perfect eyes at my carelessness and stupidity and wondering how my kids are ever going to survive being raised by such an inept parent.
42) I decided to reward myself for making it to 11 by driving through McDonalds for lunch, even though I knew it was stupid.
43) The same guy was working the drive through that I ordered from at Breakfast. Not cool. I felt like the guy from Super Size Me.
44) The guy at the drive through could NOT get my order right and I could tell he was having a hard time, so I finally decided I wouldn’t care if my Big and Tasty Mayo and Ketchup only was $2.99 instead of $2.69 because I ordered it without cheese. I just said, ”I’m not going to argue any more about .30“
45) When I got to the counter the guy was very apologetic. Since he was the same guy with an earring heavier than his whole FACE, who looked about 12, and looked like he was freezing to death, I mentioned my lack of hashbrowns earlier. I figured, hey, why not?, he thinks I’m a moron fat idiot anyway. His only response was ”I’m very sorry“ but didn’t offer to credit me. So today, McDonalds overcharged me twice. Only a moron fat idiot would GO to McDonalds twice in one day, much less be CHEATED by them twice in one day.
46) I got home and the supposed Big and Tasty sandwich was not only cold, but had Cheese, which I can tolerate, but also had LETTUCE, which the very thought of makes me gag, onions, and tomotoes. I am so pathetic I ate it anyway.
47) I have a packet of things I need to get ready to take to the courthouse tomorrow for finalizing two of my families and I can’t even find it underneath all the stupid (but not literal) crap.
48) People reading this are not going to see it as being my attempt to be hilarious and laugh at my day, but think that not only am I a bad parent and a moron fat pig idiot, but that I’m cynical and ”so negative.“
49) Mary said, ”So much for the gratitude journal“ when I told her I was blogging ”50 Reasons my Morning Sucked“
50) I was thinking of having this blog bound as a gift for my mother for Christmas, but now that I’ve used the word suck, that ain’t gonna happen.