Tuesday, December 13, 2005

The Rest of the Story

Back in June I posted about a placement I facilitated. I’m trying not to let it get to me too much, but the 18 year old, 17 at placement, has decided she does not want to be adopted. She is choosing to refuse the gift of a family in exchange for her independence. The parents are taking it pretty well, maybe even better than I am. I am discouraged and disappointed and most of all, I’m tired.

Even the day that I placed them, I knew there was potential for things not to go perfectly, but it’s still hard to accept and hard not to wonder what I could have done differently.

As I mentioned this morning, several other things are going awry, and I would love to quit. But if people quit when it gets tough, the kids will be left to the system to be raised.

There are days when my job makes me feel great, and days when it doesn’t. This is definitely a “doesn’t feel so good” day.


processor said...

I really understand your frustration with the system and your passion for getting kids into families, but from my side of the fence, where the kids far outnumber the families who are willing to raise them, I have to wonder if there isn't some way to make the system work for kids who stay in it. I think the reality is that no matter how hard people such as yourself work to place kids with families, there will still be kids who remain in the system, and I would like to find a way to make the system work for them. Any ideas?

Claudia said...

The only thing that I think will work is for each kid to have ONE adult who will be committed to them for life. This adult does not have to adopt them or be financially responsible for them, but must help them navigate adulthood and be consistent and committed. I really believe this is the key.