Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Ten Teens and Preteens; Ten Predictions

Looking through the crystal ball I’ve created through past experience and the experiences of others who have adopted children with a history of abuse and neglect, I make these predictions to participate in the ProBlogger Group Writing Project. Most of them are done “tongue in cheek” but with enough truth to them that I will go back 12 months from now and smile at my foresight.

Kyle will complete his Junior year of college and, after making all kinds of other plans and suggesting several ideas, will end up living at home for the summer. He will plan to save his money but he will spend it. He will return for his senior year, get a B average, and work a lot of hours at his on campus job. Regardless of my unending reminders to build his resume with leadership experiences, he will not see the need. He will watch between 47 and 57 movies in theatres and will watch 150 movies on DVD during 2007. He will wonder where his time and money have gone.

Rand will graduate from high school, having done fairly well. He will have made plans to leave home, but when it comes time to, probably won’t. He will spend a great deal of time lying around and spend most of his income on non-essentials (if he has a job). I will either choose not to intervene or to intervene, but either way it will take me to the next level of insanity.

Mike is the only one I cannot predict with any certainty whatsoever. WIll he serve time for stealing the car? Will he take off the day he turns 18? Will he graduate? Will he maintain a job? My only accurate predictions are that he will live in the moment, act impulsively, be confused a great deal of the time, and never be sure exactly how he has gotten himself into the current mess he is in.

John will not be allowed to return to our home. He won’t maintain his stay in foster care. He will be in a facility and may not earn the privilege of having contact with us that his social worker is stating he must earn. He will continue to be assaultive and angry and his mental illness will control him. UNLESS, which very well might happen, God intervenes in a major way and to this end we pray.

Jimmy will take driver’s ed sometime during 2007. He will not pass his driver’s test the first time. He may not pass it at all, but he will be taught to drive. He may get his permit. He might possibly get his license. He will argue with me daily, torment his siblings, and yet at the same time be the most helpful kid in our home. He will charm the socks off of every adult that he meets outside of our home and he will push some of his teachers closer to retirement with his incessant naughtiness at school.

Salinda will be best friends with several different girls and “go out” with several different guys. They will break up, make up, and argue. There will be a lot of drama. She will continue to get good grades and will excel in any sport she tries. She will find me tolerable 3 of every 7 days and maybe love me one out of every 10.

Ricardo will excel in soccer and football. He will continue to use his smile to attract every girl within a mile of him. He will refuse to try to read and finish the 5th grade as a 13 year old who reads at a second grade level. He will be sneaky as ever with his misdeeds and always be able to make me smile when his “mayan stoic look” bursts into a big grin.

Mercedes will morph from her pleasant and mother-loving self into a teenager, leaving me behind in a myst of hormonal exhaust. She will test everything we say. She will begin to use makeup with our permission and will be drop dead gorgeous. She’ll start orthodontic work. She will (crossing my fingers here) remain thorough in getting her chores done and will save more money than she spends.

Tony will either realize how important it is that he modify his behavior or there will be some kind of upcoming changes for him which may include a psych hospitalization or something. He will go back and forth from being very defiant to very loving and tender hearted. He will confuse and frustrate us and yet somehow do things every once and a while that make us want to hang on.

And Dominyk will make me laugh every day. He will say or do something hilarious and provide comic relief to our family. The medication he is on will continue to make him gain weight like Tim Allen in The Santa Clause until they switch him to something else and we go through another upheaval. The school will patiently work with him even though many will have either no or grey hair by the end of the year. He will remain our baby and still give me a hug every day even though he reminds me he is getting too big. And he insists he will be going through puberty.

So there you have it, my honest predictions. They are realistic and while it may seem negative, pretty on target. As for Bart and I? We will wake up each day and do it again. Some days we will be excited about the prospect and other days not so much. But our big God will give us the strength we need, our friends will support us, and our kids will provide us with enough joy amidst the challenges to make it worthwhile.


Anonymous said...

Reality is sometimes bitter.But after all we r humans.We dont learn by others mistake but by our own.

I like the way you write

I also got entry in darrens project.

And i am feeding your blog.There wont be another chance to meet so many bloggers

Anonymous said...

Awww. It sounds like a big job but with a lot of blessings. I hope you have a wonderful 2007 with the best possible outcomes for each of them.

We also participated in this project, stop on by if you get a chance!

Anonymous said...

Claudia -

Congratulations to you, and empathy too. I have two adoptive daughters, but the oldest one is only entering the preteen drama (age 10.) I can't imagine what it must be like for you to handle all of the usual drama, plus prior life baggage, plus the clergy family fishbowl existence all at one time!

Happy Holidays!


(I'm also in Darren's group writing project. My post is on self-defeating self-improvement shortcuts of the future.)