Is exhausting. Did round 2 with “why can’t I talk to the guy I met online” with Salinda. I pointed out to her that parenting wasn’t a popularity contest, that I had the backing of everyone I knew on this one, and that I wasn’t going to change my mind.
This led to her explaining the horrific and repressive childhood she’s had living here and how she never has been able to do anything she wanted to do. She came up with 2 examples. She can’t wear a bikini and she can’t spend the night at a friend’s house on Saturdays (because there is church the next day). That is the extent of what she hasn’t been able to do that she wants to. Because of these very restrictive rules she would be running away but she doesn’t want to leave Sadie alone in this awful family.
Then she has to point out that church means nothing to her. I cautioned her about making choices about spiritual issues just to upset her parents. I pointed out that God was a whole lot bigger than her parents that she wasn’t happy with at the moment.
Bottom line is that it sucks to be 13. Thinking you know everything and hating it that you can’t go live on your own. But it sucks to parent a teenager as well. It would be so much easier to just give in on some of these issues to make sure there was peace. After all, she is a great kid who does most of what she is supposed to do most of the time.
But I guess if she can only come up with 3 things that she’s wanted to do that she can’t (talk to guys she meets on line, wear a bikini, and stay at friends on a Saturday) we’re not being too horribly restrictive. And who knows, maybe the Saturday night thing might change if she meets some kids who go to our church. But she’s going to have to work with me, not against me.
This led to her explaining the horrific and repressive childhood she’s had living here and how she never has been able to do anything she wanted to do. She came up with 2 examples. She can’t wear a bikini and she can’t spend the night at a friend’s house on Saturdays (because there is church the next day). That is the extent of what she hasn’t been able to do that she wants to. Because of these very restrictive rules she would be running away but she doesn’t want to leave Sadie alone in this awful family.
Then she has to point out that church means nothing to her. I cautioned her about making choices about spiritual issues just to upset her parents. I pointed out that God was a whole lot bigger than her parents that she wasn’t happy with at the moment.
Bottom line is that it sucks to be 13. Thinking you know everything and hating it that you can’t go live on your own. But it sucks to parent a teenager as well. It would be so much easier to just give in on some of these issues to make sure there was peace. After all, she is a great kid who does most of what she is supposed to do most of the time.
But I guess if she can only come up with 3 things that she’s wanted to do that she can’t (talk to guys she meets on line, wear a bikini, and stay at friends on a Saturday) we’re not being too horribly restrictive. And who knows, maybe the Saturday night thing might change if she meets some kids who go to our church. But she’s going to have to work with me, not against me.
1 comment:
Ahhh, the lovely age of 13! I've got one now as well and it is challenging, to say the least, at times. The bathing suit issue has come up several times and as they show me ones at the store they'd like that they KNOW I wouldn't approve of, I tell them "Okay, you can get it, but you have to wear a turtleneck under it!". Sad thing is, there are a lot more inappropriate suits on the market than acceptable ones!
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