I know that regardless of how I blog this, there will be those who misinterpret and are critical. And it’s just those corners that we get ourselves placed in that I really dislike.
No-Win situations drive me crazy. I’m an optimist by nature who always believes that there is a way out . . . a better way, or at least some way that something positive can occur. I am also an honest person who believes that the truth can be known and if everyone is honest, then it will all work out in the end.
Our journey through the court system with our two sons is proving to be a no-win situation and one in which being honest really doesn’t pay off.
In our state there is no distinction between a child who needs services because they have mental health issues or behavioral problems and a child who needs services because they need protection from abusive or neglectful parents. Therefore, in order for us to receive services, a Child in Need of Protective Services Petition had to be filed.
Our last two years of emotional roller coaster riding have led me to the conclusion that this is a no win situation. When the goal of the players is to convince everyone that the parents and the family system of the child is at fault, then what response is appropriate. We’ve tried both.
First, you can follow the recommendations of all of the professionals (even when the professionals change their minds or disagree amongst themselves) and not disagree with their insinuations that your parenting is the problem, but that feels very wrong to me.
Or, you can disagree which results in you looking defensive and requiring further investigation or in more efforts being made to prove that you are the problem.
So, either way it doesn’t work out well. This blog is a result of the reports I received which have been given to the judge regarding our case tomorrow -- 2 CHIPS cases for 2 different sons. Bart and I have talked and talked and we are unsure of exactly which direction to go this time.
Do we agree and admit to being the cause of our sons issues or do we disagree only to have them work harder to prove we are? Or do we simply say nothing?
I’m not asking for a response, just presenting a dilemma. But every time I read the information being presented, which almost consistently incriminates us, I feel like I’m being punched in the gut.
We really didn’t go into this expecting to be heroes or to have people think we were wonderful. But we didn’t realized we would be villanized either. And with all of the other things in our lives going on right now, it’s all a little more stress than I was planning on.
No-Win situations drive me crazy. I’m an optimist by nature who always believes that there is a way out . . . a better way, or at least some way that something positive can occur. I am also an honest person who believes that the truth can be known and if everyone is honest, then it will all work out in the end.
Our journey through the court system with our two sons is proving to be a no-win situation and one in which being honest really doesn’t pay off.
In our state there is no distinction between a child who needs services because they have mental health issues or behavioral problems and a child who needs services because they need protection from abusive or neglectful parents. Therefore, in order for us to receive services, a Child in Need of Protective Services Petition had to be filed.
Our last two years of emotional roller coaster riding have led me to the conclusion that this is a no win situation. When the goal of the players is to convince everyone that the parents and the family system of the child is at fault, then what response is appropriate. We’ve tried both.
First, you can follow the recommendations of all of the professionals (even when the professionals change their minds or disagree amongst themselves) and not disagree with their insinuations that your parenting is the problem, but that feels very wrong to me.
Or, you can disagree which results in you looking defensive and requiring further investigation or in more efforts being made to prove that you are the problem.
So, either way it doesn’t work out well. This blog is a result of the reports I received which have been given to the judge regarding our case tomorrow -- 2 CHIPS cases for 2 different sons. Bart and I have talked and talked and we are unsure of exactly which direction to go this time.
Do we agree and admit to being the cause of our sons issues or do we disagree only to have them work harder to prove we are? Or do we simply say nothing?
I’m not asking for a response, just presenting a dilemma. But every time I read the information being presented, which almost consistently incriminates us, I feel like I’m being punched in the gut.
We really didn’t go into this expecting to be heroes or to have people think we were wonderful. But we didn’t realized we would be villanized either. And with all of the other things in our lives going on right now, it’s all a little more stress than I was planning on.
1 comment:
Hang in there, Claudia. You've got an army praying for you all.
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