Yesterday Sadie got into trouble at school. This hardly ever happens, but the teacher called and told me that she had really developed an attitude over the past month. I told the teacher it was probably stress from the move.
However, I had a long talk with Sadie. I told her that she was a very likable, sweet, girl who all year had been her own person until the last few weeks. I mentioned that lately she had tried to be what she thought her friends wanted her to be and it hadn’t gone well. She had developed quite an attitude. We talked about being real, and being true to yourself, and being the sweet, kind girl she was inside.
With big silent tears falling down her face she said, “What if I can’t find that nice little girl any more?
I was surprised to see this quote from Mary's blog this morning: The 10-year-old works so hard all day long trying to fit in with the "popular" girls at school. She likes what they like, says what they say, etc. She has lost (or never found) her own sense of self.
Sadie’s statement was such a reflection of life for all of us that it astounded me. I have a presentation I give called ”My journey from perfectly normal to raging lunatic and back.“ I talk about how as adoptive parents we all start out as fairly normal balanced people and are kids take us to a place we never dreamed we’d go. Then we have to retrace our steps and go back to being the person we used to be.
But sometimes, like Sadie, when trying to go back to being my former self, I ask myself, ”What if I can’t find her?“
However, I had a long talk with Sadie. I told her that she was a very likable, sweet, girl who all year had been her own person until the last few weeks. I mentioned that lately she had tried to be what she thought her friends wanted her to be and it hadn’t gone well. She had developed quite an attitude. We talked about being real, and being true to yourself, and being the sweet, kind girl she was inside.
With big silent tears falling down her face she said, “What if I can’t find that nice little girl any more?
I was surprised to see this quote from Mary's blog this morning: The 10-year-old works so hard all day long trying to fit in with the "popular" girls at school. She likes what they like, says what they say, etc. She has lost (or never found) her own sense of self.
Sadie’s statement was such a reflection of life for all of us that it astounded me. I have a presentation I give called ”My journey from perfectly normal to raging lunatic and back.“ I talk about how as adoptive parents we all start out as fairly normal balanced people and are kids take us to a place we never dreamed we’d go. Then we have to retrace our steps and go back to being the person we used to be.
But sometimes, like Sadie, when trying to go back to being my former self, I ask myself, ”What if I can’t find her?“
1 comment:
We'll be doing another talk tonight dealing with the same thing. I want my sweet little girl back!
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