Tuesday, August 01, 2006

A Reminder of Why I Blog and Read Blogs

During my session at NACAC on Saturday, I talked about blogs (leading to the radio show I’m going to be doing on Sunday night).

The reason I read other people’s blogs is so that I can get some perspective. Yesterday went great, last night did not. I spent my day doing all I could to assure my children had a good day, especially the unnamed one. She was pretty demanding yesterday and everything went fine until on the way home at 10:30 I pointed out some of the things she could have done better while he friends were over (such as not letting a boy into her room while her sister was asleep). She got very crabby and spent the next half hour telling me how awful I was. I finally walked away wondering why in the world I try to please someone who won’t be pleased.

Bart and I were both tired, so our before bedtime conversation was less than soothing, and then I could not fall asleep. So I am starting the day sleep deprived wondering how to deal with the aftermath and fallout of last night.

I woke up earlier than I wanted to and couldn’t go back to sleep, so here I am at the computer, trying to find the energy to do what needs to be done today. And then I read Cindy's blog entry for this morning and realized that last night was NOTHING compared to her night .... or compared to many nights in our home, like this one for example.

Reading other blogs gives me perspective, but even going back and reading through my own blog can help me realize that I’ve survived many tough nights, and God always seems to get me through.

Most “normal” people do not know the heart pounding anger/fear that comes with raising an explosive child who can blow at any moment. This is one of the reasons why adoptive parents have to connect with others who have BTDT (been there done that). I can honestly say that I know how Cindy felt last night...because I’ve FELT it.

So I am heading into my day praying for Cindy and Fabian and the whole family AND feeling much better about my life. Thanks, Cindy.

1 comment:

Jennifer said...

Claudia I will be praying for your situation. I deal with the explosive situations that you speak of with my middle child who has bipolar. Things are so much better now that we have meds under control and he got out of a partial hospitalization program. So many people out there just don't get it and think the child just needs a swift kick in the pants. I thank you for your blog. It helps me know I am not alone on my mission of making a difference in the life of a child