Phone Calls in the NIght

Three times in the last two weeks Mike has called and woken me up. The first time was 5:20 a.m. and he said nothing. The next time it was 6:25 a.m. and he asked for Salinda, but I didn't let on that I knew it was him. Last night at 11:35 I finally said, "Mike, Salinda is asleep." He hung up. A minute later he called and said, "So, what am I supposed to do?" Half groggy I said, "Well you can stop calling in the middle of the night and asking for your sister." He responded, "what should I do to talk to do you and Dad." I said, "Call during the day while the other kids are in school like I asked you to before."

If he calls back, what will we say? The list of what he needs to do is not short, but it is simple. Stop using drugs. Get an NA or an AA sponsor. Go to meetings. Get a job. Stop breaking the law. Finish school. I know he is getting desperate, but I am not going to by the "I have no place to live" line when he's been in town for nearly 2 months and seems to have taken care of that part pretty well."

You all know why he can't live here . . . I don't need to go through that again. But it is hard for me to know he is out there and not do anything for him, yet doing something for him will only enable him to continue using. They call it Tough Love.

So today, amidst my appointments I will wonder if the phone will ring and if it does whether or not I'll answer it and if I do, what I'll say. Because the message, "I love you but you can't live here" is never easy to deliver.