Last night I spent a considerable amount of time preparing a two page explanation to read in court. I articulated all of the reasons why it would not be best for John to be placed in Mankato. I had fooled myself into believing that it was a well presented argument. Our attorney even thought so.
But of course it didn’t matter. I read the whole thing. And without blinking an eye, the judge went along with the recommendation of the county. John once again feels like he is victorious because he was able to manipulate a new group of people into giving him what he wanted. He is moving into his foster home today.
Who knows, maybe he’ll be able to succeed and all will be well. If so, that’s great. If not, then everyone moves on, except for John’s siblings who can have their lives irrevocably altered by something he does or says during the next few months.
This is NOT about Child Protection. This is a mental health issue and should never have been a CHIPS petition. And it is very interesting that the only child who is worthy of protection in this case is the one that the County has custody of. The rest of them are insignificant.
Too bad there isn’t a “Parents in Need of Protection” petition that can be filed against a child who is aggressive and threatening the safety of his or her parents. But now I’m starting to step out of line and someone is going to start leaving comments if I’m not careful.
It’s just so frustrating to see all kinds of logic and present it well and have it dismissed as if nothing I think or say matters. I’ve tried chocolate and it hasn’t seemed to help. Maybe I’ll just have to be forced to take a nap...
4 comments:
Perhaps you should document everything and petition the court for a restraining order (aka protective order) so that John is required to stay away from you.
I know that won't solve all the problems, but perhaps the threat of going to jail for violating a protective order might be enough to put a pre-emptive block on any acting out against your family.
I am sorry that the system isn't able to recognize his manipulations and dangerous behaviors. I'm really sorry you have to experience this.
He has been warned that if he doesn't stay away from us that he will go back to residential treatment. Our attorney told us that if ANYTHING happened she would schedule an emergency hearing. I think all of this should act like a restraining order in principal.
This all isn't really about what I think John will do -- it is about how the other kids PERCEIVE their sense of safety. I think John will be more focused on his own life than bothering us (at least I hope so) but I felt I needed to at least express our concerns for the sake of the other children.
Pretty big waste of time though.
In my foster experience I found too many times that the county was too concerned with what the bottom line is to be "Protecting" anyone. I had a child placed in my home that was a suspeted perpetrator (not known by us) and this worker stood in my living room and knew that my boys shared a room. When he did perpetrate against my child I heard, "I was afraid that would happen"
PARDON ME?! Then we found out they suspected this all along and even since he had been in my home they had a report against him from the group home he left and no one made us aware. I was told they thought we'd be a great home and wanted to give him a chance. What about the other children!?
Makes me crazy angry!
I am with you on this one and many prayers go your way. Hopefully you are right and he will be too consumed with his own life.
We had a similar situation. When our two youngest were 1 and 2, we had an 8 year old girl placed with us.
When she perped on them several times, the social worker said, "Well, you have a master's in counseling, you should have known this could happen."
I said, "If I should have known, then YOU should have known. And if you are a Child Protection Worker, why didn't you protect the little boys?"
Crazy angry is right!
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