I tried to figure out last night just why yesterday was such a low for me. I think it is another round of “adoptive parents have no say, get no respect, are assumed to be the problem.” If we were foster parents willing to foster 6 tough teens, we would be heroes. But since we have adopted them and are committed to them for life, since they legally belong to us, now whenever they do something we somehow are viewed, either overtly with words or covertly with glances, whispers and “between the lines” criticisms in writing.
I used to view the Child Protection System much differently than I do now. I used to assume that every time a child was removed from their birth parents and didn’t get them back that the parents were certainly to blame. I mean who could allow a system to terminate the rights of their children? But having “fought” that system, in an attempt to get some help, I have realized that it is possible that many birth parents are people in dire circumstances who made a mistake. And once that child is viewed as one that needs protection, it is very difficult to prove otherwise. If Bart and I, both master’s level educated, have articulated again and again our concerns in parenting a mentally ill child and have not been able to get people in the system to listen, then how can people in poverty who are uneducated, some probably illiterate, expect a chance. Eventually, as we have been tempted to, I think they just give up and say, “Whatever you want to do, go ahead, because there is nothing I can do to stop you.”
So another blow, another reminder that we are powerless and that our opinions do not matter, on top of the exhausting week last week, put me in quite a funk.
I have a headache this morning, but am feeling somewhat better. I am definitely the scrooge of Halloween, if there is such a thing, but this picture of Sadie in her costume for the party Sunday night is so cute I just had to post it.
No comments:
Post a Comment