The Holiday Inn Conversation

As is typical, Bart articulately blogs about Mike. He blogged and then he took Tony and Rand on a field trip, making me very happy indeed... although I was the one left to confront Mike about his choices last night.

I talked with him very calmly about where his choices were leading him. I had what I refer to as the “holiday inn” conversation.

I told him that right now he was treating us like a Holiday Inn. He came and went, ate when he was here, slept in his bed. But he was giving nothing more to the family. I told him that I was willing to stay out of his face, since it is 5 months away from his 18th birthday, and not get after him when he wasn’t following the rules, if he was willing to stay out of my face when he asked for stuff and I said no.

Now, before some of you head to the comment button to ask about our strict rules, here are the ones we expect from him:

We want a general idea of where you are and when you’ll be home;
we want you to attend church on Sundays and youth events when they are held.

The other rules of our family, like chores, etc., I haven’t even asked him to do as it historically has led to major battles.

So, I explained to him one more time that there were things he was going to want, that his friends were not going to want to pay for everything for him forever, and that when that time came, he needed to realize that the Holiday Inn does not provide you with an allowance nor cash when you ask them for it. In fact, you pay them.... which I told him when he turns 18, rent might be required if he couldn’t simply tell us where he was.

He handled it maturely and the conversation was uneventful. But the bottom line is that he is only thinking about the moment, and conversations only get us so far.