Well, to make a long story short, four days before his first scheduled day of work, Mike’s drug test results came back positive for TCP and now they have withdrawn their job offer. Sometime between his arrival home from detention that he earned by smoking pot and when he took the test (less than two weeks) he did a little more smoking, I guess.
He of course, can’t remember. It must have been the day with the Coricidin, he says, because he can’t remember much of that day.
i don’t even care any more if he’s telling the truth. The bottom line is all that matters. He know longer has the very best job we could arrange for him to have, and he didn’t even get a chance to start it.
His solution? As he put it, “I’m just going to push it in the back of my mind.” So he called a friend and went to skateboard.
I thought about being angry, but I’m not. I’m just sad. He had a really good chance and managed to blow it because we let him out of our site. But he’s 5 months away from 18 and we have to let him make some of his own decisions. But that is difficult -- not because we are control freaks, but because EVERY time we do we regret it.
And I’m also sad that nobody (except those of us who know about FASD) would ever believe his story. How could someone possibly impulsively smoke pot and then forget about it? How could they take a drug test and be surprised that it came back positive? And how can they just pick up and move on after a major disappointment without missing a beat?
Here’s how.
People with FASD are impulsive.
People with FASD live in the moment.
People with FASD don’t make connections.
People with FASD don’t understand consequences.
People with FASD can’t look beyond today to see into the future.
And I find myself living with the pain, with the regret of what might have been, with the sorrow and the frustration for him. Because, like many other things, he can’t do it himself.
He of course, can’t remember. It must have been the day with the Coricidin, he says, because he can’t remember much of that day.
i don’t even care any more if he’s telling the truth. The bottom line is all that matters. He know longer has the very best job we could arrange for him to have, and he didn’t even get a chance to start it.
His solution? As he put it, “I’m just going to push it in the back of my mind.” So he called a friend and went to skateboard.
I thought about being angry, but I’m not. I’m just sad. He had a really good chance and managed to blow it because we let him out of our site. But he’s 5 months away from 18 and we have to let him make some of his own decisions. But that is difficult -- not because we are control freaks, but because EVERY time we do we regret it.
And I’m also sad that nobody (except those of us who know about FASD) would ever believe his story. How could someone possibly impulsively smoke pot and then forget about it? How could they take a drug test and be surprised that it came back positive? And how can they just pick up and move on after a major disappointment without missing a beat?
Here’s how.
People with FASD are impulsive.
People with FASD live in the moment.
People with FASD don’t make connections.
People with FASD don’t understand consequences.
People with FASD can’t look beyond today to see into the future.
And I find myself living with the pain, with the regret of what might have been, with the sorrow and the frustration for him. Because, like many other things, he can’t do it himself.
2 comments:
I'm sorry this happened. This must be incredibly disappointing to you.
I wonder what do you plan to do with your son once he turns 18? It seems his impulsive behavior will continue to create problems for your family, so will you simply ask him to leave, or are there other options available?
Well, right now he is not really causing problems for our family, but for himself. WHen he turns 18, if he refuses to obey the house rules, we will have to insist that he leaves. For now, he is at least attempting to do what we ask ... we are looking more for desire and motivation to do the right thing than actually being able to accomplish it.
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