That Time of the Month

No, not THAT time, Matching Bash time.

I always get very sad during the first week of the month when social workers are sending me great numbers of profiles of children. This month, one of the workers sent me in depth profiles, the kind that you don't want to read. I like the one paragraphers that give you some nice info about the kids personalities and then maybe a couple sentences about their diagnosis and main issues.

It's the long ones that are so hard to go through. Very seldom do I come across a family who can read over the case file of the children that they are going to adopt and not feel disbelief, anger, frustration. Questions are asked like, "how can a human being do that to a child?" or "where was 'the system' when this was happening to these kids" or even "I think I'm going to be sick." I have had parents report crying for a long time after reading a case file.

I am somewhat desensitized, but this month I have read a couple long profiles to choose which information to present in trying to recruit families. I have another 7 or 8 to go, and I am procrastinating because I don't want to read through what these kids have been through. The kids are so damaged and their futures look so bleak, even with loving families, that it makes me sad.

The second piece that always gets to me is the number of children who have been waiting for a long time and we can't find anyone who is interested in adopting them. I posted a kid to our chat line this week who I started recruiting for in the spring of 2004. Guess how many families our agency has been able to find that are interested in him in the past almost 3 years. You guess it, ZERO. Why? Because I first posted him when he was almost 14. Now he is almost 17. And the line isn't getting longer.

The reality is that many of these kids will age out. And the sad thing is that I know that the children I know about are only a tip of the iceberg. 19-20,000 children will age out in 2007 in our country.

Even though I work trying to find families every day, it's this time of the month where I am most discouraged. It's this time of the month where I cry for the teens, when they haunt my dreams. It's this time of the month when I knwo I'm doing all that I can and that it simply isn't enough.

If you want to see what I'm talking about, go to this page or this page and do a search for boys ages 13-17. You'll be surprised how many of them are out there. Pick one and check on him every month and see how many years his picture stays there.

And then maybe you'll feel my pain just a little bit.

And if you are one who prays, pray for that kid you pick. I'm sure he could use some prayers.