Incapacitated

Sometimes I feel a little like I've been hit by a truck. A big emotional semi that floors me to the point that I am incapacitated emotionally for a while.

It doesn't have to be a big thing, necessarily. It can be a series of small things. Or it can be a couple of tough things in a row. Or, depending on the day, it can just be my mood when stuff happens.

This morning I arranged to give Salinda a special ride back to the school so she wouldn't have to make up swimming in P.E. Once we got to the school, she refused to get out because she was refusing to go to school since I won't let her transfer. I spent 25 minutes trying to persuade her in every way I could think of to get out of the van. Then, I drove 15 minutes to pick Tony back up (Salinda had already missed swimming by then) only to have him barrrage me with hatred the whole way home.

So why do I feel immobile at the moment? Is it the added stress of the fact that we're heading to visit Mike in an hour? Is it my biorythms? Menstrual cycle? A culmination of stress (which, I read today in O Magazine, is causing me to not be able to lose weight? Or is it that we can only take stuff for so long before it blindsides us and we stand with our mouths gaping open unable to move forward?

Of course, I have now had 20 minutes of solitude to recoop. I am now moving again. My brain is functioning, my heart rate back to normal. In 20 more minutes I will head to the store to buy Mike the things he asked for. When Bart is done with the funeral he has, we will head there for some more misdirected anger.

But at the very minimum, at least there is someone else who feels the same way today and that is strangely comforting.