Looks Like We Made It

Well, I set up this counter on September 16th counting down the days until MIke's legal childhood would be over. I did not do it in spite, I did it because I was sure hoping we would survive it without any false allegations or another "Child in Need of Protective Services" case. And survive it we did.

And tomorrow morning we will head to his Chemical Dependency Treatment Program, taking him a few things he has requested and celebrating his birthday.

I was so reminded, after talking with him again today, about how closely he still resembles Anna but in a more mature sort of way. As Kari pointed out last night, kids with FASD can talk the talk, but they can't get themselves to walk the walk. It's impossible.

Mike is now safe and can't leave a building. He is in an environment where every minute of his day is structured for him and he has a lot of time to think. While he is there, he has it all figure out. He understands what he needs to do in order to make it. And he is completely convinced that he can. Like Anna, he can tell you what he is supposed to do. And like Anna, I'm afraid, once he is back in our home he will be doing an 18 year old rendition of climbing on the chairs, spinning around, yelling too loudly, and screaming "That's Me" throughout the slide show. But tomorrow, when we meet with him on his 18th birthday, he will be able to clearly articulate to us his well-thought out plan of how things will be when he returns home. He will explain to us everything that he needs to do and exactly how it should be done. And he will be exactly right.

And there will be no way that we can get him to understand how it might not work out as he has it planned because to him, the past doesn't effect the future.

It's been over nine years since that little boy walked into our lives. We never dreamed what he would drag us through in his journey to legal adulthood.

Getting to this milestone is a time when we might ask ourselves if we'd do it again. I know that for me there is no question. There has been enough joy in the midst of the pain to make it worth it. Mike's a likeable kid -- he has a shy smile that will melt your heart, especially when he is suprised by mercy or undeserved kindness. He has a great sense of humor. He has a quick wit and can be charming. Even if the pain has outweighed the joy, there has been enough joy to make me say I'd do it again.

So, I wanted to write on the eve of this 18th birthday, since I may not have time tomorrow, a word of thanks to God for the blessing of Mike. Without him, life might have been easier, but it wouldn't have been better. He has and will continue to make us pull our hair out at times, but he will also continue to warm our hearts and make us smile. Happy Birthday, Son. Looks like we made it.