Bart and I needed to have a “staff meeting.” Sometimes we just need time to organize our lives, plan, and make decisions without the advice of minors.
So we went to lunch. I had an appetizer and was completely full. And we got to talk. And afterwards I got to sit in Barnes and Noble for an hour and look at home design magazines while he went and got groceries. I looked around at the people there, envying their lives of leisure. I haven’t taken an hour to look through books in months, maybe years. It was a true luxury.
I found today though, that I’m kind of afraid of my life. I was afraid to check the answering machine, afraid to check my email, afraid to read the mail -- wondering exactly what was going to happen next. Amazingly, nothing did happen, but I hate living thinking that the next contact I have with the outside world is going to bring something bad.
I’m actually amazed that nothing has happened to upset me in over 24 hours. That’s gotta be a record lately.
1 comment:
Ive been there too. even though I only have one adoptive child I can relate. We went through a bad spell over the holidays that I thought would never end.
Oddly enough I sat in the pediatricians office thinking the same thing about others and how I envied them. I even expressed this to my husband. He said, "Honey you never know. There lives could be worse, maybe they envy you." It gave me a whole new perspective.
I'm praying for you!
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