Monday, April 17, 2006

Why Adopted kids have MA as part of their subsidy package

I just got back from the E.R. John was at baseball practice and got a bloody nose. He fell down and then started to shake and act like he couldn’t get up. He insisted he could not move, so the ambulance has to come, put him on a straight board with a neck brace. Meanwhile he is shaking, but it is completely responsive. He shook but it increased in intensity whenever it was important that it increase. My voice, for example, brought on more violent twitching.

They checked him out in the E.R. for about 45 minutes. They concluded that everything was normal. The doctor suggested he run on weekends so he could be in better shape and that he put vaseline in his nostrils before going to bed.

I won’t blog all of the thoughts that went through my mind during the whole ordeal. But he’s been home now for a half hour and seems fine. I feel like a bad mother for being skeptical, but from the very beginning we were convinced he was a boy crying wolf. I am sure I appeared to be an uncaring parent, but I wasn’t about to get emotionally invested in thinking he had a brain tumor or was epileptic or any other kind of serious issue until someone told me to. And he isn’t.

He has full clearance to participate in athletics and to go back to school tomorrow.

So, it’s a good thing adopted kids have M.A. Not that we are happy to have the government pay for all of this, but we sure couldn’t afford the copays on our insurance.

Too bad MA can’t pay to replace the $36.00 + tax Underall shirt that they had to cut off of him.

And, to add fuel to the fire, his coach stopped by to drop off his glove and report that he has missed a practice and so now he has to miss yet another game. He lost 2 for the smoking incident, and one for missing a practice, so that’s 3 games he doesn’t get to play in. Since a couple got rained out, who knows how many he actually will get to play.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I often wonder whether your children read your blog and know how annoyed and at the end of your rope with them you are--especially John--or whether it is where you blow off steam and they never see it.

Anonymous said...

My daughter gets attention this way, often playing a victim. She had the church convinced she was allergic to soap and couldn't walk so an ambulance was called, police, fire trucks, and the police came to get me. She's on the floor and everyone is in a circle around us and I wanted to yank her to her feet and tell her to knock it off. You just KNOW when it's an act. But to everyone else you do look uncaring. I totally understand!!!

Anonymous said...

My kids don't read my blog. They know it is there and they see my pictures but none of them care enough to read through all of what I right.

in addition, they know when I'm at the of my rope and also know often I get frustrated. But they also know that I love them very much.

QueenBee said...

I think you are very brave to write so openly about your experiences. It opens you up to criticism from people who don't "get it", but you share anyway. And I know from what you write that you are an incredible mom, who is honest with her kids. And I know that regardless of their behavior, they DO know you love them. See, I know a lot.

Kari said...

Claudia,
I talked several times in my previous job with a couple that was in the process of adopting a teenage boy. This boy had been through more placements in his lifetime than the # of years of his age, yet they were assured that their experience raising their birth children and their stable home would make all the difference. They were convinced that his previous moves in the foster care system were because the other families all lacked something that they had...love and committment. They never mentioned any problems, only the successes, and it sounded like everything was rosy...until the day they disrupted the adoption and asked him to leave.

Families like ours need to be honest about what we are going through or we won't make it.

Claudia, I have seen you with your kids. I have seen John make a bizarre remark and then hug you and say "I love you mom". I watched you hug him back and say, "I love you too, John."

You may be at the end of your rope somedays, but you haven't hung anybody else with it yet and you are to be congratulated for that! I can deal with issues in my house better when I see what you are able to get through.

Most people who spend their days surrounded by mental illness are able to go home after their 8 hour shift. We can't. Blogging gives you and me and lots of other moms the break that we need. It also lets us see that we are not alone and we are not crazy when it sometimes feels like we very much are. ~Kari