So, as you know, from the post about what happened while I was gone. NOw you get to hear the facts about what has happened since I returned. Oh joy oh Joy.
Well, let’s see. I got home and of course, John wasn’t here. He had told Bart he was going to hang out with a friend and would be back at 6:00. It was 7:15 and he wasn’t home yet. Bart decided to take the dog for a walk at around 8 and I got an earful from Salinda (who was perfect the whole time we were with everyone else in Mankato, but came home ready to pounce) about all the things she perceives that I am doing wrong and how all of John and Mike’s behaviors were because of our poor parenting (yes, she has been very manipulated, especially by Mike).
We went upstairs for bed to discover that someone had put a hot iron on the recliner, leaving a mark on both the recliner and the iron. We suspected Dominyk. I called him in and said, “you could at least apologize to Dad for what you did with the iron.”
“YOu know, the iron and the chair”
“I’m confused I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
So I explained like 4 or 5 times and he kept saying “I don’t get it” (and I actually started to believe that maybe it wasn’t him.) Finally he just said, very sweetly, “OK, Dad. Whatever it is, I’m sorry.”
We then went to bed and I did not sleep well because John was still not home. At 4:30 the dog was barking and I could tell that the oven was on. I went downstairs and felt that the oven was hot. I went down to John’s room and saw that he had let someone die his hair again, but that he was in bed.
This morning I woke up and asked Bart if he could wake up John because I had to be at church early to play bells. He came up when I was out of the shower to report that someone else was in John’s bed with him. i went down and got John and “Fluffy” up (that’s the only name we can get out of either of them -- a non-descript kid who looks pretty innocent. I explained to John that he needed to be in the shower. I told Fluffy he was welcome at our house any time, but only if we knew he was there. He left. John said he was not going to go to church.
I left without John, leaving Salinda here to coax him into getting ready. Bart went back to get them during bell practice and John did come, but then refused to participate in the church service. He slept through the first service, and during second service he was awake but refused to stand when everyone stand. Then he proceeded to fall asleep and refused to come to the van.
He came home and I got a barrage of very weird accusations and angry words. He told me he had already taken the car before. He said he should be able to drive it even though he hasn’t had driver’s education and doesn’t have a permit or license. He said that we weren’t buying him a car for his 16th birthday because we had too many kids (yeah, right. I told him if we had one birth kid and a million dollars we wouldn’t be buying him a car -- we don’t think kids should have their parents buy them a car -- just the way we have chosen to parent).
Anyway, I finally said something that snapped his mood and he improved over lunch. Then we had to get out of here as we could tell that Dominyk, Tony, and John were going to lose it if we stayed here all day. We went to see movies at the cheap theatre in two separate cars and it looks like we have survived the day. I told John he was grounded for a week, and that he will be doing dishes with me for a week for making dinner in the middle of the night.
The number one question that Bart and I have with JOhn is how much of what he does is volitional and how much is based on his mental illness. It is very hard to tell.
Now it is 7:10 on Sunday night and I have not answered work email since Thursday morning. That’s the longest I’ve gone in years I think...
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