Went to church. Desecrated the Sabbath and bought socks. Went to second service. Got everyone packed and out the door. Flights went smoothly. We ate and it's 9:45 Atlanta time and we're safe in our nice hotel room with a king size bed. We'll be getting into it and going to sleep very soon (I hope).
Even in the midst of a Murder Mystery I still had thoughts of John and our sessions with him. Last night I had a very disturbing dream. John and I were in a room and he was very agitated -- the way he gets when he's really angry about something. He was surrounded by the people who were in the meeting on Friday -- social worker, psychiatrist, family therapist. They were standing watching us and critiquing me and my reaction. The problem was that he had a huge pile of shoes that never seemed to get smaller and he was throwing them at me... hard. I realized that the people watching were hypothesizing that my response to him angrily throwing shoes at me was going to determine how long he continued to do so. However, the fact that I was dodging shoes, trying to make sure none of the younger kids came into the room, and trying to keep myself safe that I had no mental energy left to process what response I should have.
I won't insult you by interpreting that dream, but it is such a perfect metaphor for our situation. It invades my thinking every 5-7 minutes no matter how many times I tell myself to stop thinking about it.
Maybe tonight I'll finally be tired enough that I can sleep.
No comments:
Post a Comment