When we returned last night, I was feeling victorious. I am an extrovert, so I process pain by talking about it. So I had already told Bart, Kyle, John and two friends about Mike’s outburst on the phone and the kids in the car and I had talked about it at length. (They were pretending to by my therapists, and having all been in therapy, it was pretty funny for each of them to take a turn and ask the kinds of questions their therapists have asked them).
So by the time I got home from our long day, I was feeling pretty good. I felt I had survived a long five days without school, a very busy Easter, several hours on the road, and 30 minutes of intense emotional interchange and had come out the other side.
This morning, my entire being is telling me that I am WORN OUT. I am just dragging today... and still rethinking each of Mike’s stabbing words and phrases, trying to remind myself that he wants me to feel horrible and accept responsibility when it is not mine.
But I can’t take time to be exhausted...I have one more child to take care of for Easter -- and I’m going to do so, even though it will mean six hours on the road...
So by the time I got home from our long day, I was feeling pretty good. I felt I had survived a long five days without school, a very busy Easter, several hours on the road, and 30 minutes of intense emotional interchange and had come out the other side.
This morning, my entire being is telling me that I am WORN OUT. I am just dragging today... and still rethinking each of Mike’s stabbing words and phrases, trying to remind myself that he wants me to feel horrible and accept responsibility when it is not mine.
But I can’t take time to be exhausted...I have one more child to take care of for Easter -- and I’m going to do so, even though it will mean six hours on the road...
1 comment:
Claudia, I am certainly no expert, but I think it would be certainly mentally healthy to take a nice long break from Mike. When you do contact again, he will probably just carry on as if there had been no break and you have yourself and your other childeren to take care of. You have done your level best and then some, my opinion anyway.
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