The kid who doesn't want me involved in his life, who has already hooked up by computer with his drug using friends, the kid who is not speaking to me, asked his Dad for a home pass this weekend. The halfway house apparently grants them for holidays.
I don't think he's ready to come home, but I also don't want to send the message that we don't want him home, so it's a decision we're struggling with. Do we say no and send him the message that we don't care about him or love him and that we aren't being supportive?
Do we give him expectations that we know he won't fulfill and thus allow ourselves to become angry because he couldn't do what he said he would even though we know he can't when we ask him too?
Or, do we let him have the home pass without expectations knowing he may come home and use us for a bed and a few meals, hook up with all his using friends in town, and hope that he doesn't start using again already?
Do we give him enough rope to hang himself or do we attempt to protect him only making him more angry at us?
For some reason this decision we have to make, that I wasn't anticipating, is making me crabby. I dont' like either alternative. I don't want to let him come, but I'm trying to evaluate if I'm only thinking of myself and being selfish. I don't know that my husband and I are on the same page yet. If our guts say different things, I usually go with his, because he is more intuitive than I.
Most of my decisions are clear cut. I don't waiver. But this one i'm not sure there is a good answer for. Either way won't be pretty. It's these cunundrums that are most difficult. And this time having to make it is making me crabby.
I'm going to call his Probation Officer. Maybe she'll tell us he can't and then we won't have to decide.
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