After another “Can we really get up and do this again” night, we’re up doing it again. Trying to scrounge up some hope and feel positive about the months to come.
The situation in the church we are going to has us very stressed out. There was a misunderstanding, a simple one, that I believe has given people in the church the wrong impression of us. This puts tons of pressure on us, especially Bart, and is dampening our enthusiasm. This, on top of a day like yesterday when we literally feel the mental illness and tension in the air, requires a lot of digging on my part to bring out the optimism and hope.
But it is there. I believe that God can turn this around. God has a plan and sometimes living out that plan is difficult and downright hard. But one step at a time we will get there.
Blogging has done two significant things for me. First, it has given me a place to find perspective in my own life by processing and reporting our happenings, good and bad, to people who I know and people who I don’t know. But more importantly, reading blogs of people facing challenges like ours, has helped me to see that we are not alone. On any given day there are folks who have it worse. If you read blogs of adoptive parents who are willing to be gut-level honest, like Mary, Kari, Paula, Cindy and even Michele (who posts about once a month, as opposed to the rest of us who post daily), you will see what I’m talking about.
And the fact that those women (and their husbands if they have them) can get up every day and keep going means I can too.
Now I’m off to give the 10 minute warning that we’re leaving for church.... The next ten minutes are always some of the ugliest of my week.
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