I figured it Out

Finally got to watch What about Bob? again tonight. And I figured it out. If you haven’t seen it, do it.

Here is what the point of the movie was for me, seeing it now after having adopted kids with special needs. The reason that Dr. Marvin goes insane is because he tried his hardest to change a mentally ill person. He can’t change him and therefore he goes nuts himself.

That is the crux of the matter, if you ask me, for us as adoptive parents. If we have an agenda that includes changing the very core of these kids and we get fixated, bound and determined, to do so, we will go insane. In the movie, Dr. Marvin’s family loves Bob exactly the way he is and, in doing so, they provide the acceptance and love that helps him to change.

I know that it’s just a comedy intended to make people laugh, but to me it had a very significant message. If we work our hardest to CHANGE hurt and damaged children who have mental illnesses, we will end up the crazy ones. That drive to make sure that we do all we can to fix them will undoubtedly lead us to our own mental illness. However, if we can meet them where they are and walk with them, providing them with love, support, correction and acceptance, there is no telling the beautiful things that can happen.

All that from a 1991 Bill Murray film. Amazing.