I have spent the entire weekend trying to win the “control battle” with Sadie. I’m not talking about “a control battle” but “THE control battle.” When I was still single, I had a married couple tell me that child-rearing specialists say that there is one battle in the life of every child that helps the child understand that the parent can outlast them. Depending on the temperament of the child, it can be when they are 2 or 17 or anywhere in between.
I’m not sure I buy this for kids with FASD, ODD, etc., but for kids with “no issues” I think this is true. Even with Kyle, who came diagnosed with Conduct Disorder, there was a moment of truth. He had been with us for 3 months. I told him that if he kept arguing with me I would take TV for a week. He said, “Make it a year, make it until I turn 18.” I (foolishly, I know now) said, “If you say one more word I’ll take it for a month”. He replied, “Do it.”
So I did. And for 30 days, the longest thirty days I had ever lived, he watched not a minute of TV. Never again did I have to prove to him that I meant what I said. From then on he knew I would keep my word. That doesn’t mean that raising him was easy, but after that month I proved that I could outlast him. He begged EVERY SINGLE DAY of those 30 days and he tried negotiating, manipulating, reframing, and begging and never did watch a minute the whole month.
It looks like Sadie wants to see if I mean what I say. She’s had to be in the same room with me all day long and ended the day the same way it started -- by telling me I“m not the boss of her, she doesn’t have to do what I say, and she is going to win, not me.
I took this picture of the girl who ALWAYS wants her picture taken. This is what “stuck on stupid” looks like. (and by the way, Mrs. D., thanks a LOT for jinxing her by saying "I notice you never have to write about challenges with Sadie. Just kidding)
1 comment:
I wonder if this information would help you.
http://www.ccps.info/cpssentials/index.html
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