Maundy Thursday Service with a Special Needs Child

Tonight's service was intended to be especially meaningful. We sat around tables and shared in handwashing communion. Everyone else in the whole church, from age 3 to 103, was appropriate and Dominyk was doing a fairly good job of holding it together. But toward the end of the service he got very angry. It sort of progressed so let me detail that progression for you.

It began with him complaining that we were sitting at tables. That it was dark. That we shouldn't be downstairs but upstairs. Then he started touching everything on the table. There was a basin of water. There was a plate. There were paper towels. There was a cup. He had to touch it all.

Then he started to cross his eyes, trying to get them stuck that way. And that led to some giggles. Then the bell choir finished and we were all clapping. He said a word, very loudly, that sounded a lot like boooooo, but he declared it was mooooo. I didn't even try to figure out why he said moo.

We had a hand washing. I hadn't checked his hands, and they were filthy, nearly changing the color of the water. We had communion. The bread was unleavened, so it was flat and looked different and he loudly asked me "Why are we having damn tortillas?" He said it the bread tasted like crap after grabbing a piece five times bigger than anyone elses.

He then concluded that God was stupid because he was wasting his time. He began to get very agitated and restless. He tried to spell F*** You, God with his torn up paper towels. He started muttering about how Jesus needed to be cursed and sent to hell.

On the way home I tried to explain to him that Jesus still loved him, that Jesus still had died for him, just like Jesus loved the people who killed him years ago. He came home and had a meltdown, cursing God and damning Jesus. After some time in his room, he eventually apologized to me, and I helped him pray to ask Jesus to forgive him for the things he had said.

But tonight his behavior has moved me to tears -- not because I'm sad about what Dominyk did, but because all of us are so much like him. We're all just confused, tired little boys with filthy hands who ocassionally feel like God is wasting our time. We are all those, who with our actions, curse Jesus to hell.

And yet, just as Jesus can overlook Dominyk's sin and love him through it, He can forgive ours as well. Isn't human behavior, never perfect, and always lacking, the very reason that two thousand years ago He allowed those around him to curse Him and kill Him?

Tonight, Jesus, I come to you with dirty hands and an imperfect heart. Caught up in my own world, I often feel like You are wasting my time. See me through your eyes of grace and love, the way I know You did Dominyk tonight, because even though on the outside I am so much more sophisticated, inside I'm so much like him. Wash my hands, purify my heart, forgive my sin, and make me like You I pray. Amen.