Doing it My Way

This is going to sound odd after just completing my tribute to my husband, but I understand why some people think parenting is easier as a single parent.

Now I could never ever ever ever do this without Bart. My kids would die of poor nutrition, I would not emotionally be able to handle things without his support, we’d be in the poor house, and the kids who rely on him for their emotional security would be even more bonkers than he is.

But there is one thing that I think is easier -- no triangulation. Some of our kids, three in particular, use the fact that we are both home to get what they want. They go to Bart after I’ve told them no (I know, typical kid stuff) and they talk to him about how horrible I am constantly. They manipulate like crazy, say he’s given them permission when he hasn’t.

The other thing I like is that I don’t have to make decisions with anyone. I can plan out my day without making sure that Bart thinks it’s a good idea. (I know you’re reading this, honey, but I know you feel the same way when I’m gone). I don’t have to worry about how he is feeling or if the kids are driving him nuts. We are each others emotional caretakers and watch out for each other, so that one of us can step in when the other one is losing it...

So this morning I called each kid in one by one. I asked them to each pick a lunch meal that they liked and a supper meal that they liked. I told them they could either choose to work 2 hours today and 2 hours tomorrow or 1 hour today or one hour tomorrow. I told them what their chores were and explained them to them.

Much to my shock they all responded appropriately. Three of the boys have already worked an hour. There is still much to do, but knowing they have already agreed to help and that I can ask them at any time makes me feel great.

I had lunch planned for today but apparently the buns on the counter were too hard and Bart threw them away so I’m off to the grocery store...