John has a history of doing weird things with his clothes. I’m not sure, as I never am, if it is a can’t or a won’t issue. But he trades clothes with people, loses expensive clothing soon after they are purchased, has strange ideas about what he HAS to have RIGHT NOW but is unwilling to pay for them, wears two shirts at a time, will not let any of his siblings touch his stuff but wears their clothes whenever he wants to, changes between the same pair of pants being WAY to big and WAY to small within the same week, and believes that he is entitled to name brand clothing of his choice. He also literally wears three outfits a day, even when we aren’t going anywhere, and wants them all washed even if they are only on his body for a few minutes. I try to stop him from throwing them in the pile, but they often get thrown in and then covered with wet towels or something.
He decided, after wearing his brothers shirts without asking over the past two weeks and after making an agreement with me several weeks ago that if I bought him certain things they would be his summer clothes for the rest of the summer, that he had to have new shirts yesterday. Because I said no, I was punished for the rest of the day. He even decided to be annoying and rude to me during our Monster Cookie Party.
I woke up this morning and agreed to have him work and I would match it for money for shirts up to $50. I pay $4.00 an hour for chores at home. Unwilling to wait, he’s trying to figure out how he can work 12 hours today and still go shopping when it is over. We talked about delaying gratification, one of those impossible things for him.
So now I have to find things for him to do for as many hours as he will keep working. It is way more work for me than it is for him. If I ask him to do a chore, it is usually done quickly and not well enough. So I have to check it, point out what needs to be changed, etc. And then on to the next thing. It is way more work for him than it is for me.
Could I have just given in and taken him to the store? Sure. Would that have been the easiest thing to do? Definitely. Would he have learned anything about the value of working, earning your way, keeping your commitments? Not a chance. Do I wish, sometimes, that I could just let myself give in and not hold them accountable? You bet your life.
He decided, after wearing his brothers shirts without asking over the past two weeks and after making an agreement with me several weeks ago that if I bought him certain things they would be his summer clothes for the rest of the summer, that he had to have new shirts yesterday. Because I said no, I was punished for the rest of the day. He even decided to be annoying and rude to me during our Monster Cookie Party.
I woke up this morning and agreed to have him work and I would match it for money for shirts up to $50. I pay $4.00 an hour for chores at home. Unwilling to wait, he’s trying to figure out how he can work 12 hours today and still go shopping when it is over. We talked about delaying gratification, one of those impossible things for him.
So now I have to find things for him to do for as many hours as he will keep working. It is way more work for me than it is for him. If I ask him to do a chore, it is usually done quickly and not well enough. So I have to check it, point out what needs to be changed, etc. And then on to the next thing. It is way more work for him than it is for me.
Could I have just given in and taken him to the store? Sure. Would that have been the easiest thing to do? Definitely. Would he have learned anything about the value of working, earning your way, keeping your commitments? Not a chance. Do I wish, sometimes, that I could just let myself give in and not hold them accountable? You bet your life.
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